A good portion of my closest girlfriends became pregnant in 2020, and while the baby boom was a silver lining in the gloom of Covid, it did a number on my female friendships when life went back to normal. Once spontaneous wine nights are now planned well in advance, and in the increasingly common case I found myself in a group of all mom friends, I can feel like a circus attraction. Come one, come all and witness the 30-something childless wonder. (I should note that I live in Texas.)

It can feel like psychological warfare from all angles. Is she not calling me as much because she’s drowning in burp cloths and Bluey reruns, or does my cluelessness about nap schedules and pre-school waitlists make me an undesirable hangout? If it’s the former, am I being a bad friend for not reaching out more? If it’s the latter, maybe I’m reaching out too much.

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

Friendship After Kids: An Expert Shares How It’s Done

That being said, maybe those differences can be a good thing. A colleague who’s a mother told me she has a standing date she’ll never miss with a group of child-free friends—it’s often the highlight of her month. And the joy I get from being the “cool aunt figure” to my new tiny friends is genuinely priceless. 

No matter how cherished the friendship, babies and kids tend to make it so that you’ll see your mom friends a little less—if only temporarily. It’s undeniably hard, but it doesn’t have to be a friendship ender.

For a little guidance on how to navigate our evolving friendships, I spoke with Dr. Melanie Ross Mills, relationship expert and author of The Friendship Bond.

I imagine it can be easy to make assumptions on both sides. Someone child-free might feel they’ve been left behind. A new mom might feel their child-free friends no longer think they’re fun. How can someone deal with or fight that urge to make that assumption? 

It is only human to make these assumptions when we are feeling left out or left behind. When we have entered a new life phase as a new mom, we will experience having to adjust. It is possible that your child-free friends aren’t quite ready for you to go in at 9:00 pm to breastfeed, therefore they don’t view you as the “fun friend’ anymore. It is also possible that the child-free mom feels left out because she is not in the playgroup or able to bond over which car seats are safest. 

Acknowledge:

Recognize that there will be some changes in schedules, priorities, mindsets, and approaches to life between the child-free and the new mom friendship. This will help you both step into this new phase of life as you seek to relate to one another in new ways and make an effort to maintain the old. 

Prioritize: 

Prioritize one another. Continue to incorporate some of your old activities (fun dinners together), but also understand that there will be adjusting. Make time to be together with and without the baby—respecting one another’s desires as you make an effort to share life with one another. 

Communicate:

Communication helps curb assumptions. Share in healthy ways what you’re experiencing and how you’re feeling. Let your child-free friend know if you’re sensing she is frustrated with your inability to dance until dawn. Share with your new mom friend that you miss your alone time with her and schedule a date. 

What are some ways to foster relationships with new mom friends? How can someone without kids adapt to suit their needs? 

A child-free relationship can adapt to suit the new mom’s needs by helping out, releasing expectations, inquiring about how she can show up in her life, extending support, and communicating her own needs as well. 

On the other hand, how can a new mother ensure her friends without kids that she wants to maintain a strong friendship? 

A new mom can choose to continue to make an effort with her child-free friends, reminding them that she’s still the same person she was previously and her love for them has not changed. Schedule your own “play dates” with your friends that have not experienced motherhood—center them around what they want to do. Be sensitive and try to empathize with where they’re coming from (especially the fear of the unknown). 

What are some things to keep in mind when you’re the odd one out in a group (the one without kids, or the only one with)? What intentional actions can you take to maintain those bonds? 

I’d start with releasing the mindset that you’re the odd man out in the group. Whether you have children or you don’t, you’re friends with one another for a reason. You’ve chosen to share life together. Each of you has something to offer the whole. That is why your presence is valuable, even if you do feel like the odd man out.

Whether you have children or you don’t, you’re friends with one another for a reason. You’ve chosen to share life together.

Children do not make us “less than,” or “more than.” It’s good to remind yourself that you’re still the awesome person you were created to be, with or without children. To maintain bonds, we must make an effort. Connecting doesn’t happen in isolation. Therefore, don’t get discouraged if you have an awkward experience as these changes are taking place. Don’t give up on your child-free and new mom friends. If you want them in your life, make an effort, make plans, and make memories.

Friendships do change as we get older—when do you feel it’s time to accept that a friendship hasn’t made the transition? 

Friendships do change as we change. Some will be in your life for a lifetime while others will be seasonal. We never want to write anyone off, but we also want to be realistic if a friendship hasn’t made the transition. Most of the time, you’ll notice a disconnect between you two. This doesn’t mean your friend will never be in your life again, it just means you’re moving away for now.

It is time to accept that the friendship hasn’t made the transition when there’s no longer a reciprocation in play. Once a friend has reached out multiple times without the other responding, that’s usually a good indicator that it’s okay to open your heart and time toward other friendships. Or, you might be the one that’s not feeling prompted to reciprocate in ways that you have previously. That’s okay too. Life’s about growth and relationships teach us, expand us, challenge us, heal us, hurt us, and grow us. We want to be in reciprocated friendships—child-free and/or new mom candidates welcome.

The post Help! All My Friends Are Moms and I’m Not appeared first on Camille Styles.

A Bisquick breakfast and all the best intentions. Handprints traced and outlined courtesy of Crayola markers. Optimistic promises to treat chores as pleasures—not complaints. The consistency among these three seemingly-unrelated circumstances? They’re each a peek into the Mother’s Day gifts I’ve known and loved.

Now that I’m a mom myself three times over (a reality I still can’t wrap my mind around), I’m giving a pregnant pause to the concept of the holiday. Mother’s Day has me thinking of all the packed lunches, carpool pick-ups, tears dried, cheek smudges wiped away, hair tresses braided, and boo-boos bandaged. The goodnight kisses, the pages read (and re-read) and, of course, the many lullabies sung. 

Featured image from our interview with Alex Taylor by Teal Thomsen.

16 Top-Rated Mother’s Day Gifts Every Mama Will Love

I’ve also been reflecting on all the sibling fights and feuds I’ve broken up, the carpet stains I’ve scrubbed (and scrubbed, and scrubbed… ), the insistence on finishing veggies before dessert, and the negotiations over why pajamas aren’t appropriate school attire. 

And it’s made me to decide to lean all the way in this year. 

For all the moments big and small, we moms deserve a treat. Too taxed to make a list of things you’d love to open on May 14th? We’ve got you covered. Our editors shared the Mother’s Day gifts they can’t wait to share (and hope they receive). Read on for the ultimate, mom-approved gift guide—and feel free to print out this guide and casually leave it on the kitchen counter. Okay, a note might be necessary, too.

For the Mom Who Loves a Farmer’s Market Haul: Casa Zuma “Salad Ritual” Gift Bundle

I designed this gift bundle to help make our time in the kitchen a joy-sparking, soul-replenishing moment in our day. Isn’t that a gift that just about every mama would love? The Salad Ritual includes everything she needs to slow down and bring more awareness to preparing a daily salad with fresh, seasonal ingredients. And it’s perfect for shipping if your mom lives far away—the salad bowl and spoons arrive ready to gift in a beautiful box, with a limited edition recipe booklet. — Camille, Editor-in-Chief

Casa Zuma “Salad Ritual” Gift Bundle

---

“Salad Ritual” Gift Bundle, $144

SHOP NOW

For the Skincare-Obsessed Mom: Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil

I wasn’t a body oil person until a family member gifted me this Osea product over the holidays. Now it’s a staple in my routine and my skin just loves it. It has a light, fresh scent and delicious velvety texture. I thought I was moisturized before, but this is the real deal! — Michelle, Executive Producer

Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil

---

Undaria Algae Body Oil, $84

SHOP NOW

For the Sentimental Mom: Mod + Jo Cherub Hoops

Every mama loves Mod+Jo. Their pieces are classy, timeless, and durable for everyday wear-and-tear (hello, motherhood). These hoops are my latest obsession–a reminder that our littles aren’t little for long. — Edie, Wellness Contributor

Mod + Jo Cherub Hoops

---

Cherub Hoops, $56

SHOP NOW

For the Mom With Effortless Style: Doen Aphra Top

File this under “things I’m low-key hinting for my kids to buy me.” I have a little collection of Doen tops going in my collection, and I love how they add a little romance to even the simplest of outfits. This is the top I’m *hoping* to wear on repeat this summer. — Camille, Editor-in-Chief

Doen Aphra Top

---

Aphra Top, $188

SHOP NOW

For the Coffee-Obsessed Mom: Farmhouse Pottery Gooseneck Kettle

The Stagg Electric Kettle may be getting all the love, but this matte black beauty deserves its spot in the sun. Whether she opts for coffee (or tea!), any mom will love the main character energy this kettle brings to the kitchen. — Isabelle, Managing Editor

Farmhouse Pottery Gooseneck Kettle

---

Gooseneck Kettle, $75

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Who Never Forgets SPF: Janessa Leoné Milton

With summer around the corner, I’m living in hats. I’m a big Janessa Leoné hat fan and I’m really excited about this new release with the leather strap. (If you’re not into statement hats, this packable hat is perfect for travel and the mom on the go.) — Brandy, Motherhood Contributor

Janessa Leoné Milton

---

Milton, $370

SHOP NOW

For the Hostess-with-the-Mostess Mom: Casa Zuma Linen Table Throw

For me, the perfect Mother’s Day gift is a slightly luxurious item that she may not buy for herself—something that gives that little jolt of delight every time she uses it. This casually cool linen table throw adds textural warmth to the table and comes in a drool-worthy array of muted shades. Ethically made in Lithuania, this square throw is the right size for any table she wants to throw it over—since it’s made to reveal the edges of what’s underneath, you can use it on square, round, and rectangular shaped-tables. — Camille, Editor-in-Chief

Casa Zuma Linen Table Throw

---

Linen Table Throw, $80

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Who Loves to Lounge: Ulla Johnson Aurelie Robe

Your mama’s morning getup just got a glow-up. I’m obsessed with this patterned silk number from my fave Ulla Johnson because, well what’s not to love? Psst… Someone please send this to my husband! — Anne, Contributing Editor

Ulla Johnson Aurelie Robe

---

Aurelie Robe, $390

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Who Needs to Marie Kondo: Legacybox

If your mom is holding onto piles of VHS tapes, cue the tears when you present her with digitized versions of Christmas mornings, volleyball games, and piano recitals long ago. — Brittany, Content Marketing Director

Legacybox

---

Legacybox, prices vary

SHOP NOW

For the Baking-Obsessed Mom: Our Place Ovenware Set

My mom is *deeply* in her everything-must-go, self-declared-minimalist era. She’s made it clear: she only wants to hold onto what she loves and/or what improves her everyday routines. A five-piece, non-toxic stoneware baking set for under $200? It checks all the boxes. And those colors… I’m opting for lavender. — Isabelle, Managing Editor

Our Place Ovenware Set

---

Ovenware Set, $195

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Whose Style Is Unmatched: Freda Salvador Eda D’Orsay Sneaker

Every spring and summer, I’m on the hunt for the perfect white leather sneaker. Like all of Fred Salvador’s shoes, the padding supplies the ultimate comfort. Bonus points: small-batch and female-founded.— Brandy, Motherhood Contributor

Freda Salvador Eda D’Orsay Sneaker

---

Eda D’Orsay Sneaker,

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Who Loves Luxe Skincare: Sahara Rose Sumptuous Regenerating Cream

Because skincare is one of the most instantly transportive, indulgent, uplifting gifts to give (and receive). And if it’s a clean product from an independent female-founded company, as this gorgeous face cream is, it’s doubly inspiring and beautiful. — Stacey, Contributing Editor

Sahara Rose Sumptuous Regenerating Cream

---

Sumptuous Regenerating Cream, $76

SHOP NOW

For the Mom With Timeless Style: Birkenstock Arizona Soft Footbed Sandal

These sandals sit smack right in the middle of the Venn diagram of gifts my mom, my mother-in-law, and I all want equally. A mom needs a pair of comfy slides that also make you look put together in an instant—these are them. — Brittany, Content Marketing Director

Birkenstock Arizona Soft Footbed Sandal

---

Arizona Soft Footbed Sandal, $140

SHOP NOW

For the Foodie Mom: The Best Brunch in Town

The ultimate gift would be my husband getting the kids ready in aesthetically pleasing outfits, presenting me with flowers, and taking me to brunch at a beautiful outdoor patio. Followed by an afternoon to myself. — Brandy, Motherhood Contributor

The Best Brunch Restaurants in Austin

---

SHOP NOW

For the Mom Who Knows the Beauty of Basics: Z Supply Kaili Button-Up Gauze Top

Hot mom uniform, school drop-off uniform, lounging on a Sunday uniform, etc.—this top will delight your favorite mama. She’ll never want to take it off. (It me). — Edie, Wellness Contributor

Z Supply Kaili Button-Up Gauze Top

---

Kaili Button-Up Gauze Top, $79

SHOP NOW

For the Statement-Making Mom: Chan Luu White Pearl and Gold Diamond Cuff

My mom’s a minimalist—but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to make a statement. She’s been collecting Chan Luu’s timeless wrap bracelets for years. But this Mother’s Day, I’m going to change it up with this sleek cuff featuring a champagne diamond and white freshwater pearl. — Isabelle, Managing Editor

Chan Luu White Pearl and Gold Diamond Cuff

---

White Pearl and Gold Diamond Cuff, $155

SHOP NOW

Magazine Subscriptions

Moms love a magazine. It’s a bit of happy mail from days of old and a gift that lasts all year. Cater to her interests with a subscription to Bon Appétit for foodies, Magnolia Journal for Jo lovers, or a number of classics like Real Simple, BHG, (and, yes, People). — Brittany, Content Marketing Director

Magazine Subscriptions

---

Magazine Subscriptions, prices vary

SHOP NOW

This post was originally published on April 16, 2022, and has since been updated.

The post 16 Mother’s Day Gifts Our Editors Are Giving (And Hoping to Receive) This Year appeared first on Camille Styles.

One of my favorite memories from growing up is how intentional my mom was with creating traditions. On Valentine’s Day, she hosted a little crafting party for our friends. Christmas meant cookie baking and tree hunting complete with hide-and-go-seek and ice cream (if that doesn’t say Texas winter). And for Easter, she always organized basket hunting on Easter morning. Our baskets would include gifts specific to each child and their interests—from books to art supplies, lego sets to nail polish, and of course some treats, too. Now that my mom has set the bar so high, I’m on the hunt for great Easter gifts for kids that can also double as games and activities to bring a smile to our little bunnies on this special holiday.

Featured image by Hannah Haston.

The Best Easter Gifts for Kids

Of course, you don’t have to spend loads of money and shower your kids with 20 gifts every time a holiday rolls around. Oftentimes, a carefully chosen gift or DIY activity together is just as sweet.

So if you’re on the hunt for something special (that will bring joy beyond one day) then keep reading for the perfect Easter gifts for kids that will delight your littles and make celebrating spring easy. And to simplify your shopping, we’ve divided our picks into age-appropriate gifts. Happy shopping, Easter bunny!

Every product is curated with care by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn a small commission at no cost to you.

Ages 0-2

Slumberkins Blueberry Sloth Snuggler

Designed to support emotional growth, this stuffed animal and book set goes way beyond cute. As someone who’s gifted many a Slumberkin to nieces and nephews, believe me when I say: these are beyond soft. And the interactive story, “Let’s Go! With Sloth” encourages connection and play. While the snuggler is intended for ages 0-2, if you have older littles, selecting the “kin” option is your best choice.

What’s great:

• The softest stuffed animal/lovey we’ve ever snuggled (seriously)
• Machine washable
• Book and affirmation card were written by therapists and educators

Slumberkins Blueberry Sloth Snuggler

---

Blueberry Sloth Snuggler, $49

SHOP NOW

Colored Organics Organic Lovey Bunny

Meet your little one’s new best friend. This lovey is made of 100% organic cotton—meaning soft snuggles for months to come. We also love that it’s intentionally designed with non-toxic, sustainable materials, so even infants with sensitive skin can get cozy.

Colored Organics Organic Lovey Bunny

---

Organic Lovey Bunny, $34

SHOP NOW

MiniOlie Baby Carrot Plush Hooded Romper

They’ll love cuddling up in this cute and perfect-for-spring romper. Be sure to take lots of pictures.

What’s great:

• Comes in five different sizes

What’s not:

• Size 3-6M is currently out of stock; as is the Brick Red colorway
• Made of 100% polyester—we would have preferred a more sustainable, softer fabric

MiniOlie Baby Carrot Plush Hooded Romper

---

Baby Carrot Plush Hooded Romper, $46.95

SHOP NOW

Pottery Barn Kids Organic Jack Muslin Drool Bib Set

Functional and fun, this bib set is soft and durable (key)—meaning each bib can absorb even the drippiest messes.

What’s great:

• Made of 100% organic cotton muslin
• Machine washable
• Fair-trade and fast-absorbing

Pottery Barn Kids Organic Jack Muslin Drool Bib Set

---

Organic Jack Muslin Drool Bib Set, $35

SHOP NOW

Jellystone Rainbow Stacking Toy

The best toys are well-loved and easy to clean up. This minimalist stacking rainbow checks all the boxes.

What’s great:

• Dishwasher and freezer safe
• Encourages hand-eye coordination
• Can be used for teething

Jellystone Rainbow Stacking Toy

---

Rainbow Stacking Toy, $25

SHOP NOW

Mudpuppy Garden Bunnies 25 Piece Floor Puzzle

With only 25 pieces, this floor puzzle will entertain and challenge children ages two and up. Bonus: you’ll love their cute, vibrant, and perfect-for-Easter masterpiece.

What’s great:

• Oversized pieces are perfect for small hands
• Perfect for individual or group play

Mudpuppy Garden Bunnies 25 Piece Floor Puzzle

---

Garden Bunnies 25 Piece Floor Puzzle, $16.99

SHOP NOW

Ages 3-5

Mermaid Dreams by Kate Pugsley

One of the many wonderful things about children’s books is that they’re endlessly entertaining for little ones—and totally compelling for adults. Featuring beautiful illustrations by Kate Pugsley, Mermaid Dreams takes young readers on an imaginative, underwater adventure.

What’s great:

• Comes in board book or hardcover format
• A beautiful book to display on your coffee table

Mermaid Dreams by Kate Pugsley

---

Mermaid Dreams, $8.99

SHOP NOW

Lovevery The Block Set

Helmed by a team of child development experts, Lovevery designs toys that engage children in intentional play. What exactly does that look like? Thoughtfully made “play kits” that teach children spatial, language, and problem-solving skills. I won’t lie… I’d love to find this in my basket on Easter morning.

What’s great:

• Designed by child development experts
• Accompanying activity guide includes 20+ learning games

Lovevery The Block Set

---

The Block Set, $90

SHOP NOW

L.L. Bean Toddlers’ Animal Paws Slippers

While these slippers are Easter-appropriate for obvious reasons, they’re guaranteed to be worn year-round. Comfy, cozy, and oh-so-cute, your little bunnies will be obsessed.

What’s great:

• No-slip tread keeps toddlers upright
• Machine washable for easy cleaning

L.L. Bean Toddlers’ Animal Paws Slippers

---

Toddlers’ Animal Paws Slippers, $29.95

SHOP NOW

Peking Handicraft Oh Joy Pillow

For when the Easter candy isn’t enough, this cheeky pillow is sure to satisfy their sweet tooth. The fun print is the perfect way to brighten up any toddler’s room.

What’s great:

• Designed by Joy Cho, a Camille Styles fan-favorite
• Fine embroidery adds a thoughtful touch of character

What’s not:

• Pillow is spot clean only—not ideal for toddler messes and sticky hands

Peking Handicraft Oh Joy Pillow

---

Oh Joy Pillow, $39.81

SHOP NOW

Babiators The Daisy Sunglasses

These sunglasses are one of the many children’s accessories we wish would come in adult sizes. (Seriously, we’d be rocking these all the time!) Not only will your kiddo be styling, but their eyes will be protected thanks to the UV400 lenses that offer 100% UVA and UVB protection.

What’s great:

• Sunglasses are 100% kid-proof, i.e., they feature flexible rubber frames and shatter-resistant lenses
• If you lose or break your sunglasses in the first year, you can receive a replacement pair for free

Babiators The Daisy Sunglasses

---

The Daisy Sunglasses, $36

SHOP NOW

Poppy’s House by Karla Courtney

Sweet and sentimental, Poppy’s House tells the story of a little girl’s adventures with her “Poppy.” Together, they garden, explore, and share a love of a simple way of life. It’s a beautiful reflection of the bonds that tie us together—no matter our age.

What’s great:

• Beautifully illustrated pages engage both children and adults
• The book is based on the author’s own visits to her Poppy’s house in Arnold’s Cove, Newfoundland

Poppy’s House by Karla Courtney

---

Poppy’s House, $17.39

SHOP NOW

Ages 6-8

Gamewright Rat-A-Tat-Cat

Just because a game is intended for children doesn’t mean adults won’t quickly become obsessed. My parents purchased this game for me and my sisters when we were 6, 7, and 9. Twenty years later, we still play whenever the whole fam gets together. It’s easy to learn—meaning that you’ll probably spend five minutes reviewing the instructions and hours longer playing round after round.

What’s great:

• Appropriate for two-player games or up to six players
• Helps young children learn basic mathematical concepts
• Designed for ages 6 and up

Gamewright Rat-A-Tat-Cat

---

Rat-A-Tat-Cat, $10.99

SHOP NOW

A Kids Book About Boredom by Kyle Steed

As children become more and more connected to technology, the beauty of boredom is an increasingly important topic to discuss. Written by artist Kyle steed, A Kids Book About Boredom explores the many ways boredom can be one of the most inspiring and powerful tools in our creative toolbox.

What’s great:

• Colorful and vibrant illustrations capture children’s attention and effectively break down topics
• Positive and affirming language encourages children to reach their full potential

A Kids Book About Boredom by Kyle Steed

---

A Kids Book About Boredom, $19.95

SHOP NOW

Meri Meri Spring Bunny Egg Decorating Tattoo Kit

Add this tattoo kit to the list of things currently in my cart. (I’m gifting sets to just about everyone I know.) While I’ve always loved the concept of egg decorating, in practice, it can be difficult to end up with a final product that matches the tutorial. With these egg-decorating tattoos, kids will have fun selecting from bunnies, carrots, flowers, birds, and bees to easily create beautifully-decorated eggs.

What’s great:

• Includes 27 tattoos with nine spring designs
• An easy activity for kids ages 3+

Meri Meri Spring Bunny Egg Decorating Tattoo Kit

---

Spring Bunny Egg Decorating Tattoo Kit, $12 (reg. $15)

SHOP NOW

Ages 9-11

OMY Crazy Museum Giant Coloring Poster

I discovered OMY when I was living in Paris and though I was a student with an au pair’s salary, I happily invested my hard-earned dollars buying every last one of the company’s I-could-do-this-for-hours coloring activities. Kids can spread this imaginatively illustrated poster on the table or down on the floor for a full day’s worth of coloring perfect for a rainy spring day. (Psst… the brand’s ultra-washable markers are a perfect companion present.)

What’s great:

• 27″ x 39″ poster encourages hours of imaginative exploration and play
• Easy to frame and hang up to display once complete

Crazy Museum Giant Coloring Poster

---

Crazy Museum Giant Coloring Poster, $18.50

SHOP NOW

KiwiCo Acrylic Paint Marker Set

As a kid, there was nothing better than opening up a new set of markers. (Okay, that still holds true today.) And while you’re welcome to purchase watercolor markers, paper markers, wood markers—the list goes on—the good news is that these water-based acrylic paint markers work on any surface. Just be sure to remind them that the living room furniture is off-limits.

What’s great:

• Acrylic paint markers work on any surface
• Visit www.kiwico.com/diy for project ideas and inspiration
• Color stays vibrant longer than other brands

KiwiCo Acrylic Paint Marker Set

---

Acrylic Paint Marker Set, $9.95 (reg. $16.95)

SHOP NOW

The HappyMe Daily Gratitude Journal

IYKY—gratitude journaling is one of the best things we can do for our wellness. Kids, included! While the concept of writing about what we’re thankful for may seem like more of an adult topic, it’s an easy habit for children to build. The HappyMe Daily Gratitude Journal breaks it down into accessible steps, encouraging children with age-appropriate prompts, space to draw, and room to explore their gratitudes deeper.

What’s great:

• Expertly designed to foster a growth mindset by increasing confidence, self-awareness and self-belief
• Accessible writing and drawing prompts encourage mindfulness and provide an alternative to screen time

The HappyMe Daily Gratitude Journal

---

Daily Gratitude Journal, $31.90

SHOP NOW

Nailmatic Kid’s Wash-Off Nail Polish Set

Nail painting is a fun way to encourage your child to explore self-expression. And because the polish was formulated with kids in mind, it comes off easy after a quick rinse-off under warm, soapy water.

What’s great:

• Water-based polish means all the fun, minus the mess
• Formulated without artificial fragrances, parabens, phthalates, or sulfates

Nailmatic Kid’s Wash-Off Nail Polish Set

---

Wash-Off Nail Polish Set, $34

SHOP NOW

The Woobles Egg-cellent Accessory Bundle

Fiber arts are a fun and fulfilling hobby for older kids. This beginner-friendly bundle includes everything they need to get started: from yarn to needles to easy-to-follow video instructions.

What’s great:

• Accompanying step-by-step video tutorials support easy learning
• Beginner kits come pre-started to help new crocheters along
• Comes with five individual project kits—including an easter egg shell, a carrot and basket, and a bunny headband

The Woobles Egg-cellent Accessory Bundle

---

Egg-cellent Accessory Bundle, $20 (reg. $27)

SHOP NOW

Ages 12+

Tubby Todd Kids Gift Set

If you’re interested in helping your child begin their skincare journey, there’s no better place to start than with this gentle, easy-to-use set. Designed with the intention to help children feel confident in how they care for themselves, this set encourages tweens to begin building daily rituals that support them in their day-to-day lives. The five-piece gift set includes the brand’s Suds Stick, Best Face Wash, Kids Toothpaste, Deo Stick, and (S)Undercover SPF serum.

What’s great:

• Gentle ingredients work with sensitive skin
• Select from scented or fragrance-free sets
• Gluten-free, dairy-free, and certified animal cruelty-free

Tubby Todd Kids Gift Set

---

Kids Gift Set, $86

SHOP NOW

Roomytown Rather Be Reading Fine Art Print

If you have a reader in the house (who also just happens to swoon over cats), they’ll love showing off this quirky print in their room.

What’s great:

• Select from print only or framed options
• Printed on museum-quality paper
• Comes in five different sizes to fit their bedroom or reading nook perfectly

Roomytown Rather Be Reading Fine Art Print

---

Rather Be Reading Fine Art Print, $25

SHOP NOW

PB Teen Cozy Sherpa Robe

While things may be getting warmer outside, there’s still nothing better than slipping into a cozy and plush robe to ease your way out of bed. And as we all know, teens and pre-teens can use all the help they can get when it comes to waking up. This soft Sherpa robe is the perfect little luxe gift.

What’s great:

• Comes in six colors
• Made entirely from recycled materials
• Features two pockets

What’s not:

• Robe is sized X-Small/Small and Medium/Large. Due to imprecise sizing, we recommend sizing up to ensure a cozy fit.

PB Teen Cozy Sherpa Robe

---

Cozy Sherpa Robe, $59

SHOP NOW

BAGGU Standard Baggu (Set of 3)

The OG reusable bag! There are endless reasons your tween could use one of BAGGU’s famous, bright, and cheery prints. An extra bag for sports equipment? Check. Something to load their overdue library books into? Check. A statement piece that’ll help them define their personal style? Check.

What’s great:

• Totes come in a reusable drawstring pouch for easy storage
• Tote sets come in four different colorways (including “Sunshine Fruit”—so cute!)
• Each tote can carry up to 50 pounds

BAGGU Standard Baggu (Set of 3)

---

Standard Baggu (Set of 3), $42

SHOP NOW

W&P Sip Sustainably Bundle

Let your tween sip sustainably and in style with this water bottle and travel mug set. The duo’s matte silicone sleeves make for easy, soft handling. And the terrazzo print? Totally on trend.

What’s great:

• Microwave and dishwasher safe
• Comes in 8 colors and prints

Wu0026P Sip Sustainably Bundle

---

Sip Sustainably Bundle, $50 (reg. $60)

SHOP NOW

Girlfriend Collective Please Recycle Quarter Crew Sock

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that there is no such thing as too many socks. And when you find comfy crew socks in a range of vibrant hues? Stock up, stat.

What’s great:

• Made from 90% recycled plastic bottles
• Socks are recyclable through the brand’s ReGirlfriend program

Girlfriend Collective Please Recycle Quarter Crew Sock

---

Please Recycle Quarter Crew Sock, $14

SHOP NOW

Clare V. Baseball Hat

If you haven’t heard, baseball hats are the newest it accessory (just ask Camille!). This bright and cheeky hat will be their favorite thing to wear all spring and summer long.

What’s great:

• Metal closure creates the perfect fit
• Made in L.A. by a woman-owned brand

Clare V. Baseball Hat

---

Baseball Hat, $49

SHOP NOW

Galison Liberty Floral Playing Card Set

Everyone could use a deck or two of playing cards. With these dual sets, your pre-teen can play all of their favorite games in style.

What we love:

• Two decks feature beautiful Liberty London floral prints
• Storage box is stunning enough to proudly display anywhere in their room or in the house

Galison Liberty Floral Playing Card Set

---

Liberty Floral Playing Card Set, $16.99

SHOP NOW

7 Days of Mindfulness By Jessica Poundstone Puzzle Set

This set of seven, 70-piece puzzles is a great way to encourage your older child to practice mindfulness through a fun and gratifying activity. Designed by Portland-based visual artist Jessica Poundstone, puzzles are intended to be completed each day of the week, helping children feel a sense of accomplishment no matter where the day takes them. This puzzle set is inspiring proof that it’s never too early to begin practicing self-care.

What’s great:

• 70-piece mini puzzles can be done in a single sitting
• Beautifully designed puzzles can double as wall art once finished

7 Days of Mindfulness By Jessica Poundstone Puzzle Set

---

7 Days of Mindfulness Puzzle Set, $19.99

SHOP NOW

This post was originally published on March 18, 2021, and has since been updated.

The post 29 Easter Gifts So Good, We Swear: You’ll Want These for Yourself appeared first on Camille Styles.

It’s the question on all parents’ minds: when should kids get phones? When it comes to getting kids their first phone—or breaking your teen from their troubling addiction—tips, insights, and opinions run the gamut. And what works for some families won’t necessarily work for others. If, like me, you can remember the days when kids’ lives didn’t revolve around what happened in the digital sphere, I’m sure you can relate to my concept of “the phone.”

The first iteration of the phone was simply the thing that my entire family shared that occasionally rang when a family member called. It hung on the wall and we used it to order pizza, call the weather channel, or find out which movies were playing. (Insert deep voiceover: “welcome to movie phone!”)

Once high school hit, the magical device was the thing attached to the cord that you used to twist around and around while talking for hours on end to your crush. Remember this fun game: “No you hang up first! No, YOU hang up first!” Sigh. Swoon. The nostalgia is real, and it’s an arguably more innocent relationship to The Phone than my kids will ever be able to have in their tech-dominant world.

When Should Kids Get Phones? An Expert Weighs In

Nowadays, our phones are basically an extension of ourselves. Never out of sight, barely out of our hands. You can be reached anytime, anyplace, anywhere. It almost makes you miss the sound of the busy signal. 

With the subject of phones now being discussed with growing frequency in our home, I’m trying to navigate the best way to appropriately keep my kids connected when there isn’t a healthy landline’s distance to be found. 

There are a million questions running through my mind on this topic at any given moment. What’s the best tracking app for my teenager’s iPhone? When should my fifth grader get one herself and what rules should I enforce? And how can I get a jumpstart on restrictions now with my first grader that I can adhere to as the iPhone brigade parades into our home?

Because it’s far more than just a handy little object to connect with a friend. Our phones allow a whole new world of constant communication, contact, content, and access. Press 1 if you’re freaking out. 

With zero clue where to start, I connected with Brooke Shannon of Wait Until 8th, an online platform that encourages parents to delay (wait till 8th!) getting a smartphone for their kids. Brooke helped me understand the different stages of adolescence when it comes to tech. Bookmark this one, caretakers, teachers, parents, and grandparents—it’s an interview worth revisiting. 

Tips for Kids 

Treat smartphones like tools, not toys

When your kids are little, it is easy to give your little one your phone to watch YouTube or play a game to buy time while you wait at the restaurant or at the dentist. Resist this temptation. This teaches them the phone is fun and can eliminate boredom.

Always carry a book with you

With a book by your side, your default mode will be reading, not scrolling social media or cramming a few emails when you have a couple of minutes. Your kids will pick up on this habit modeled to them in the early years. Encourage your children to keep a book with them as well. Stash a few books in the car so your family always has a book to grab. My girls also love magazines. Check out the Week Junior for a kid friendly weekly news publication or Highlights for elementary kiddos. My middle schoolers also love cooking magazines and Real Simple. What a difference it will make to encourage your children to read instead of consuming mindless entertainment on a smartphone or tablet!

Make all meals device-free

Gathering around the family dinner table or at your crew’s favorite restaurant is an important time to reconnect and be together as a family. Devices distract from rich conversations. Research shows that the presence of a smartphone can lessen the quality of an in-person conversation. Protect all mealtimes from the intrusion of devices. Make it a family practice to unplug for breakfast, lunch, and dinner at home or dining out.

Choose shared screen time instead of individual screen time

With our homes overflowing with TVs, tablets, and phones, it’s tempting to let each kid choose their own entertainment. Yet, it is important for children to share experiences with their families. It’s good for them to compromise when picking out a movie, show, or video game. Designate a weekly family movie night for the family to enjoy screen time together. 

Delay! Delay! Delay!

Preschool kiddos and elementary school children do not need smartwatches or smartphones. This is a time for them to play outside, read, and spend quality time with family and friends. This also is an important time for children to learn interpersonal skills like listening, interpreting nonverbal communication, eye contact, and effective speaking. Smartphones are a huge distraction to the development of these skills.

This is a time for them to play outside, read, and spend quality time with family and friends.

Rally some other friends to join you in delaying the smartphone with the Wait Until 8^th pledge. There is strength in numbers and your kid won’t be the “only one” if you encourage other families to delay, too.

Tips for Tweens

If your tween wants to text, try a tablet first

Once you have a middle schooler, you quicky learn how much kids connect outside of school via texting. If you want a way for your child to connect with their peers during middle school, we prefer texting and FaceTime on a tablet that stays in your kitchen/family room only versus a smartphone. Please note we do not recommend starting this until middle school. Elementary kids need to learn key in-person communication first and need lots of time playing and exploring!

The benefit of the iPad over a phone is that it stays at the house under your supervision instead of constantly with your child like a phone is. The same instructions for stripping down a phone will apply to the iPad (remove access to the internet browser and App Store). Essentially, make this device a communication device for texting and FaceTiming. Teach your child how to text before you grant this privilege on the iPad or a basic phone. Monitor your child’s texts. They are not allowed privacy at this stage in the training game—they need coaching.

If you need to get in touch, consider a basic phone

We encourage parents to delay all phones through elementary school and most of middle school. They learn so much not tethered to a device. They learn how to interact with people face to face, how to be present, speak up, listen, problem-solve, and manage situations without a constant tether to mom, dad, and friends.

There are situations where it is convenient for our kids to have a phones to reach them. But for us, the conveniences are not worth it. For parents who want or need a communication device for their middle schooler, we encourage them to start with a basic phone like Gabb, Light phone, Wisephone, Bark, or Pinwheel instead of a smartphone. All of these phones are very basic and do not have access to the App Store, games, internet browser, and social media. A basic phone is a thousand times better than starting with a smartphone. We believe most middle schoolers thrive, grow, and learn better without a phone.

Make car time conversation time

We spend a good amount of time together as a family shuttling to and from school and activities. These short trips can be avenues for great conversations as a family or an opportunity for kids to catch up with friends on your carpool turn. Guard this conversation space fiercely by making your car a phone-free zone for all riders. Sometimes this entails gently reminding your kids and their friends that phones should be put away in your car. In our car, we have signs posted in the car that say “no phone zone.” Some kids laugh at them or do a slight eye roll, but for the most part they respect the family rule. Protect your family’s space from smartphone evasion!

If your tween is curious about a viral trend, look it up together

If every kid at school is talking about a funny dance on TikTok or a hilarious video on YouTube, take the time to check it out together. This gives your child the opportunity to be in the know of popular trends without having to have a social media account. Plus, by looking it up together you can talk about it as a family.

Say “not yet” to all social media in middle school

This is absolutely the WORST time for kids to be on a platform where they constantly are told they are not enough. I know your kids will beg and say, “every kid has BeReal or anyone who is anyone is on Instagram or kids ONLY communicate on Snapchat.” Parents, do not CAVE! Keep your middle schoolers off social media. They are not ready.

Tips for Teens

Start slowly with the smartphone

Never hand over a fully-loaded smartphone as a first phone for a child. Remove the access to the App Store and to the internet browser through parental controls on the phone. Your child does not need unfettered access to the internet. If research is required for schoolwork, encourage the child to use a family computer, tablet, or school device. In most scenarios though, children are on the internet on a smartphone for entertainment purposes. Take this boredom eliminator away. Also, do not allow games or social media at first. Keep it simple! Texting, calling, photo taking, and listening to books and music.

Nix notifications on your teen’s phone

Phones call for our attention. Every day, we are bombarded by a constant stream of dings, flashes, and red badges screaming for our attention and pulling us away from our family and friends. Turn down the digital noise by going to Settings on your child’s phone. Then click “notifications” and turn off the badges, banners, and notifications for everything except for calls and texting.

When it comes to social media, proceed with caution

I suggest delaying social media until at least 16. At some point after that and before high school graduation, you may want to instruct them how to use social media moderately and safely. Try one platform first before allowing multiple social media accounts. Set time restrictions on the social media apps. Limit to 10-15 minutes a day. Be sure to follow their accounts and check in with what they are doing and what accounts they are following.

Keep phones out of the bedrooms at night

Period. No excuses here. Every expert from pediatricians to internet safety gurus to child psychologists agree that phones do not belong in the bedroom at night. Our devices should go to bed long before we do. Downtime before sleep time is huge! A few tips:

• Create a curfew for the device to check in with you. Ideally, this will be at least one hour before the lights are out.
• Establish a curfew on the device through parental controls.
• Get an old-school alarm clock for each of your kids.
• Talk to your kids about the importance of sleep and the crucial role it plays in physical and mental health. Sleep makes a big difference on the academic front, too.

Don’t be afraid to change your mind

Are you cringing every time you think about your kid on Snapchat, Instagram, or TikTok? Do you wish you could put the social media genie back in the bottle? We hear from so many moms and dads who regret saying yes to social media for their kids. They worry about how much time they are spending on it and losing sleep over what their children have been exposed to on social media. There are concerns about how the constant feed of perfection is making their kids feel inadequate. I am here to tell you that you can pause it all.

Take a Social Media Break as a Family

You can tell your kids you want your family to take a break from social media. Maybe the pause is a reset for a week, a month, six months, or longer. You are in charge, so don’t be afraid to change your mind. During the social media break, see what you observe in your kids. Do they seem calmer, happier, or less stressed?

A few more child phone tips to help your entire family develop a healthier relationship with their technology:

• Consider watching The Social Dilemma together during this reset.
• Read articles about how addictive social media can be.
• Ask your children what they think a healthy relationship with social media should look like and help them understand your concerns.

Who knows, your family may decide after taking a break from social media that it should really be a breakup.

The post An Expert Weighs In—Everything You Should Know Before Your Kid Gets a Phone appeared first on Camille Styles.

If you’re a parent, the holiday season can mean many different things to you. From gift-giving to dinner parties, there is a lot to do and even more to be prepared for well in advance. One of the things that often gets overlooked, however, is the extra downtime that comes with having the kids home from school and you and perhaps your partner off from work. So among all the many things that need to be addressed during this busy season, brainstorming a list of things to do with your family takes top priority.

Chill time at home is far less glitzy and exciting than festive outdoor activities and parties with friends and family, so it’s an easy one to forget about… until it’s not. Before I had kids, having a few days of downtime sounded like an absolute dream. Hanging out in my pajamas on the couch with a cup of tea watching my favorite show in silence? Sign me up! But, when you have kids, this dreamy scenario can quickly turn into a bit of a nightmare. 

How to Keep Kids Occupied During the Holiday Vacation

Have you ever experienced that multi-day stretch with bored kids at home? It can be a lot! But having activities planned for family time (aka, the kids) during the holidays can save you the mental stress of trying to improvise daily to keep your kids entertained. 

Over the years, I’ve learned my lesson. Instead of repeating the chaos every year, I’ve come up with some tried-and-true activities that my kids (and my husband!) love that won’t break the bank. Keep reading for my go-to things to do with your family during the holiday time off. 

11 Things to Do With Your Family During the Holidays

1. Get dressed up and have high tea 

I’ll admit, I don’t know who loves playing dress up more—me or the kids. Maybe it’s the former stylist in me that can’t resist a good costume moment, but one of my favorite at-home activities is to get dressed and have a tea party at home. The best part about this is you don’t need to go to Spirit Halloween two months in advance to get perfect costumes. Just use what’s around the house! You’ll be surprised what some toilet paper and cardboard can do with a bit of imagination. 

2. Give back with your family

Take the time to show your kids the true meaning of the season by getting involved with a community project. Whether it’s attending a small fundraiser or participating in community service, it’s a great way to help those in need. Not only is this an affordable and engaging outing, but it’s also a meaningful lesson to teach early on.

3. Turn random acts of kindness into a game 

The world could use more random acts of kindness, especially during the holiday season. Make it a game with your kids to see who can do the kindest things in one day and then tally up the points at the end. Of course, everyone wins when you’re being nice to others.

4. See a musical or music in the park 

There are almost always community events happening around the holidays. Check your local news listings to see if there is a community theatre, parades, or live bands playing at an all-ages venue.

5. Have a family bake day

Look up an easy, festive recipe and make baking the theme of the day. Similar to dress-up, it’s fun to put on aprons and DIY chef hats to make some festive treats. Consult this list of the best holiday cookies to celebrate the season.

6. Make room for new gifts

This is one of my favorites because I’ll admit, it’s a bit sneaky. Tell your kids that to make room for new gifts, they have to purge some things they no longer need. Suddenly, you’re having a family clean-up day and they won’t even know it.

7. Go on a nature walk 

Taking time to go outside in nature should never be underestimated. It’s free and so good for the soul. If it’s not really your kids’ vibe, try turning it into a scavenger hunt to keep things fun and engaging. 

8. Turn your living room into a spa

Massage night anyone? Transform your space into a family-friendly spa and take turns giving each other foot rubs. An engaging activity that makes kids smile and you get to carve out some self-care? Win-win for mommy.

9. Go to your local library for story time 

Just like musicals and theatre in the park, there’s often story time happening at your local library. This is a great way to get out of the house and take a break from screen time for some good old wholesome fun.

10. Hit up a museum 

Show your kids some culture by taking them to a museum. While this may be “boring” for some kids, I suggest turning it into an activity by telling them to pick their favorite piece of art and recreate it at home! 

11. Send letters to loved ones

‘Tis the season for love and family! Spend a day writing down your favorite memories or messages of love to friends and family and go together to drop them off in the mailbox. The most feel-good activity of all. 

What are some of your favorite at-home holiday activities? I’d love to add more to my list! Comment below and I’ll be sure to incorporate them into my time off this holiday season. 

The post 11 Holiday Activities to Do With Your Kids During All Those Days Off appeared first on Camille Styles.

As women across all seasons of life, suffice it to say that our plates are full. Pre-kids, I often had a running list of to-dos as it pertained to my house, my health, and my career. With two kids now, I seem to have those same lists plus one for each member of my family. From household chores to errands, there are few days when I don’t find myself physically and mentally exhausted by the evening. Enter: the mental load.

As we get older and household pressures begin to mount, we may find ourselves asking an age-old question: how much more can I take? When do I reach my breaking point? How do I protect myself from burnout and even resentment toward others? 

If you’ve ever felt this way, I can assure you; you are not alone. That internal bandwidth that comes with running a household is called the mental load. 

Featured image of Simone Boyce by Teal Thomsen.

What is the mental load?

The mental load refers to the cognitive effort involved in managing your work, relationships, family, and household. It’s the laundry list of details you manage throughout the day. It has to do with your responsibilities, formal or not, as well as the decisions you have to make.

Did I get a birthday gift for Sara? Did I schedule the Christmas card photos? Did I pick out the outfits? Did I make the dentist appointment? Did I pack everyone’s luggage? Do we have enough diapers? Does my husband know what time the kids need to be picked up? The list can go on and on. 

Research suggests that women carry a heavier mental load in the household. According to Healthline, a 2019 study of 35 heterosexual couples found that the women in the relationships tend to take on more of the cognitive labor, particularly when it came to anticipating the needs of others and monitoring progress.

Additionally, when 400 married women were asked about their mental load, 88 percent reported that they were the ones who primarily managed routines at home and 76 percent said they were mostly responsible for maintaining regular household standards and order.

Much like a physical burden, the weight of the mental load can be heavy and detrimental to one’s health. 

My Personal Mental Load 

Like so many of you, my mental load reached its limit when I became a mother. This isn’t to say I wasn’t ready to become a parent. I knew there would be sleepless nights and long days, teething phases, and seemingly endless messes to clean. What surprised me was the running list of tasks and the unseen domestic labor.

I didn’t feel appreciated and all the work I was doing seemed like it wasn’t valued. Because let’s face it: society doesn’t value it.

It’s simply expected! Women can do it all, right? Newsflash: we can’t. Even if I could, I don’t want to. 

Sharing Your Mental Load With Your Partner

I’m going to tell you a secret. Are you ready? We’ve all been sold a lie: the lie that men aren’t capable of carrying some of the household burdens. I recently did a poll on my Instagram asking women if they sometimes feel that it would be easier to just do something themselves instead of asking for help. I was met with a resounding yes.

We may think things like “my husband probably doesn’t even know where the kids’ school is” or “he probably doesn’t know what time to pick them up,” but that’s just not fair. If they don’t know these things, it’s time that they do so they can take on some of the responsibilities as well. 

The Moment I Knew I Need To Address the Responsibility Imbalance

Story time. One day, my husband Tyler took the kids to the dentist. After the appointment, they asked him if he would like to schedule the next appointment. Instead of doing it, he said “no, my wife will call you.” I lost it when he told me. Why put that on me? Why add that to my list when you were just there? It was then that I knew I needed to make a change before it set me over the edge. 

Since having conversations about sharing the mental load, I’ve seen my husband take on more tasks. Surprise! He does them just as well, if not better than I can. He also now cooks all our meals and does all the grocery shopping, so I never have to think about the meals. It’s no longer a part of my mental load. 

How To Share the Mental Load With Your Partner

When it comes to sharing the mental load with your partner, every household is unique. So, I decided to tap a few experts, including Mariel Benjamin, LCSW & Director of Groups at Cooper. Mariel is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience at Mount Sinai Medical Center working with families and children. She is the Director of Groups at Cooper, and mom to two young kids. She had amazing insights to share on how to lighten your mental load with your children, as well. 

“One of my favorite ways to do this is figuring out how to promote autonomy while removing some items from my list. Ask your children to take over packing their lunches, remembering to wash their soccer uniform in time for practice, or keeping track of their homework.

It stretches them, gives them important roles in the household, and improves their own executive function skills. Above all, remember that asking for help and dividing responsibility is never a bad choice, as long as we allow ourselves to believe that we are entitled to it.”

How to Lighten Your Mental Load

Asking for help with the mental load is just one step in the direction of a happier life. Another is finding ways to make what’s on your plate less heavy. I know what you’re thinking: “How is this possible when there seem to be no relaxing days?” These are my tips.

Give yourself permission 

Not every day needs to be more productive than the next. Give yourself permission to be lazy, lie down, ask for help, be silly, or do whatever you need to do to wind down.

Many times, we are our own captors in the never-ending spiral of stress and shame.

Turn off that voice in your head that says you aren’t doing enough. Replace it with a louder one that says it’s okay to not be perfect. 

Assess your values 

Think of an experience that was so positive, fulfilling, and deeply meaningful that you can almost feel what it was like to be in that moment. It could be from any point in your life. Write down what made that experience so meaningful to you. Repeat this process a few times using different experiences and calm yourself down before continuing on with your day.

Take a self-compassion break 

Stop being so hard on yourself! The world will not fall apart if we miss one thing on our list. Take a moment to mindfully reflect on all that you have done instead of all that you haven’t, and have compassion for yourself. Feel for your own well-being as you would for a loved one. 

Have the talk

Sit your partner down and chat about what a fair division of labor looks like in your home. Even if you’re a stay-at-home caregiver, you can still divide some of this labor up. If you’re like Tyler and me, you might have more of a 35/65 split. The important thing is to sit down in a calm environment and empower your partner to take on tasks that meet both of your standards for care. 

More Mental Load Resources

If you’re feeling at the end of your rope, resentful, overwhelmed, or unsure how to communicate these feelings to your spouse, I recommend checking out some of these accounts.

• @fairplaylife
• @everodsky
• @motherhonestly
• @totumwomen
• @chamberofmothers

They have helped me find balance and my voice when it came to asking for help with my mental load. I hope they can do the same for you! 

A Few Final Thoughts

I hope we can all recognize that it’s not unreasonable to ask for help and for equal rest in the household. Laura Danger of ThatDarnChat said it best when I asked for her advice.

“Working outside of the house and domestic engineering at home are both time and energy consuming. Everyone deserves to hold some of the daily grind tasks, as well as some of the more mentally heavy tasks like state planning or managing holidays! Be clear and explicit, and make the time to discuss who is responsible. Don’t default. Discuss!”

Stay tuned! I’ll be following up with how I took a deep dive with Tyler on the Fairplay method, how we split our mental load and domestic labor, and how we value it. In the meantime: you’ve got this!

The post It’s Time We Talk About the Mental Load—and How To Lighten This Invisible Burden In Your Life appeared first on Camille Styles.

IMO, there’s nothing spookier than a toddler on a sugar high. From erratic mood swings to spastic energy (and an inevitable flop on the hardwood floor), a sugar-fueled child is not for the faint of heart. It’s no surprise that Halloween spooks most parents. Between consoling terrified children to minimizing a sugar overload, it can be a relatively stressful holiday. Luckily, not all hope is lost. No need to fear this spell-binding, spine-chilling holiday. Learn how to approach Halloween candy with kids for a festive, nostalgic experience.

Ultimately, parenting on Halloween is all about encouraging well-rounded eating habits and leading by example. Spoiler alert: the less emphasis you put on candy, the more success you’ll see around reducing your kids’ obsession with it.

Feature image of Brandy Joy Smith and family by Zachary Gray.

Children Are Intuitive Eaters

One of the most powerful things we can glean from our children is how in-tune they are with their hunger cues. Despite their mealtime fussiness, they’re intuitive eaters. Therefore, it’s our responsibility to model healthy behaviors around food—especially on holidays, like Halloween. It’s also our duty to give them the space to eat unconditionally. In turn, they can develop a healthy relationship with food (and a mindful relationship with sugar). In the spirit of wholesome parenting, Halloween is a wonderful opportunity to approach treats with ease and empowerment. It’s not all or nothing.

Set Your Child Up To Have A Normal Relationship With Food

Before we get to how to approach Halloween candy with kids, let’s back up. While normal looks different for everyone, the gist is to raise children to have a mindful yet enjoyable (read: stress-free!) relationship with food—both on holidays and in general. Below are five tips to raise a habitual eater.

Strive to be a positive role model

Monkey see, monkey do. If you struggle with a healthy relationship with food, you might find it difficult to model that for your children. And that’s okay. A wonderful place to start is to not see our bodies as an enemy. Rather than strive for body positivity, strive for body neutrality around your kids. Sometimes, saying nothing is better than saying something.

Try not to use food as reward or punishment

Have you ever found yourself saying, “You can’t have ice cream unless you eat your broccoli,” or “If you misbehave, you can’t have a cookie.” Using food as a reward—or punishment—is so tempting. However, this automatically categorizes foods as good or bad. Non-food rewards, like special activities or a new bathtub toy, can be just as effective. Not using food as a reward or punishment also avoids putting foods into boxed categories—a mentality that can carry over into adulthood.

Let go of the clean plate club

Unfortunately, this forces kids to ignore their internal signals of fullness. Instead of being able to explore and enjoy the foods in front of them, children feel like they need to eat everything on their plate—often, to move on to dessert. They know when they are hungry and when they are full. They might gravitate toward some foods more than others. In that case, you can explore more foods, together.

Although some picky eating is common, extremely picky eating that persists for several months or more could be a sign of disordered eating. Parents who have concerns about their child’s eating patterns should consult a pediatrician or another health professional.

Prioritize family meals

Speaking of exploring foods, together, family meals are crucial for raising a normal eater. After all, they protect against disordered eating. Yes, that includes eating dessert together! This is a wonderful way to build family relationships, honor cravings, and more.

Be weight neutral

Rather than focus on your child’s size, which can (and will) change over time, try to be neutral. Note the diversity of bodies and how they naturally come in different shapes and sizes. Encourage children to eat a variety of foods and to do physical activities that bring them joy.

No Need To Be The Treat Police

So, how do you handle the abundance of candy with your little one(s)? Do you give them a certain number of pieces? Is it a free-for-all? Should they even go trick-or-treating? How to approach Halloween candy with kids may require trial and error, but there’s no need to act as the “Switch Witch,” “Treat Police,” or pretend Halloween never happened. That doesn’t teach kids anything—other than restriction, deprivation, and shame. Ultimately, the goal is to empower children to mindfully eat sugar and desserts, versus fearing and obsessing over treats, altogether.

How To Approach Halloween Candy With Kids

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: don’t stress about Halloween candy!

Yes, that’s the silver bullet. In the grand scheme of things, the stress and pressure are unnecessary. Enjoy some with your kids while it’s in the house, then move on. All things considered, there aren’t an infinite number of Halloweens in your child’s life (or yours). Eventually, they’ll be too old for trick-or-treating—or simply disinterested in it.

1. When They Ask For Candy, Say Yes

As long as you’ve deemed it appropriate for your toddler to have added sugar or sweets, let your child enjoy a handful of candies. One night (or a few nights) of multiple candies will not ruin their long-term health—I promise! With toddlers, specifically, they’re still very good at eating intuitively and will stop when they’re full. Most young children will take two or three candies, and be done with it. They may even take a bite or two and then get distracted by something else.

2. Don’t Make A Big Deal Out Of It

The less of a deal you make out of it, the more you’ll see it’s not worth stressing over in the first place. Show your little one that candy is a food like any other food. Nothing special, nothing to get worked up over, nothing to put up on a pedestal—or conversely, nothing to be ashamed of when eating. Remember: food (including candy)—can be eaten strictly for enjoyment! Not everything we eat is tied to nutrition. 

3. Engage In Conversation With Them

Encourage your kids to choose which candies they like. They can even make separate piles. This may seem obvious, but there’s no need to devour treats they don’t love. Furthermore, engage in conversation with them while they’re eating—ask them about the texture, colors, flavors, etc. Speaking of, no need to come from a “I told you so” perspective if they go overboard. Rather, help them observe what they feel in their body—and why. You can respond with, “I’m sorry your belly is hurting. Maybe, having that much candy made it upset. Let’s practice listening to your body and stopping before it hurts.”

4. Resume Your Mealtime Boundaries On November 1st

After Halloween, put the candy out of sight. Resume whatever strategies you’ve implemented when it comes to sugar and dessert. When in doubt, offer sweets alongside a meal or snack. That way, it’s treated like any other food. It’s a small portion on their plate and offered among a variety of other nutritious options.As a parent, you choose when to offer candy rather than give it anytime your child asks for it. Explain that it’s not going to disappear forever after October 31st. You can all enjoy it, in moderation, to keep the Halloween spirit alive.

Halloween Blood Sugar Hacks

Last but not least, a few Halloween blood sugar hacks! To help minimize sugar rushes (and crashes), aim to have a filling and nutrient-dense dinner before trick-or-treating. Rather than set your child up with an empty belly before a night full of candy, peek these easy, weeknight dinner recipes. Opt for a good source of protein (animal or plant-based), fat (avocado, cheese, olive oil, etc.) and fiber (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, etc.). When you’re out trick-or-treating, bring water with electrolytes with you. Stay hydrated, and encourage your kids to do the same. Feel free to bring a nourishing yet sweet snack, too!

The post Parents, Rejoice: How To Approach Halloween Candy Without Being The Treat Police appeared first on Camille Styles.

As Americans, we don’t talk nearly enough about many of the things that actually matter in pregnancy. The topic that takes the top spot? Miscarriage and pregnancy loss. Having spent over a decade as a medical professional working in women’s health and birth, I’ve been witness to the heart-wrenching story on repeat: I have a couple scheduled for a follow-up, and I walk into the clinic room to find a family shattered by the news of loss—grieving alone.

During this process, emotions of confusion, guilt, and fear are commonplace. As the world moves on around them, there is often little comfort or support offered from friends or family. Because few—if anyone—in their close community even knew they were pregnant. “It was still so early.”

Data shows that 10 to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage (the loss of a pregnancy), with 80% of these losses occurring in the first trimester. In the United States, that translates to roughly one million losses per year. Contrast that number with the fact that, culturally and societally, it’s common to hide a pregnancy until at least 12 weeks gestation, if not 20.

But if nobody knows you’re pregnant and an unfortunate loss does occur, where do you turn for support and comfort? No one would expect a family to weather a funeral alone, but for some reason, we expect women and couples to experience the loss of a child in silence. This can lead to people feeling isolated in their grieving, and eventually trickles down to the communal loss of solace in a shared experience.

It should also be noted that early pregnancy loss is no less painful than a later loss but is often mistaken to be “less of a big deal,” furthering the pain and grief when some do choose to share.

Unhelpful and painful comments from well-meaning friends and family or even the avoidance of the subject altogether show how little we as a society understand about how to talk about miscarriage and navigate this painful subject.

This is such a deeply personal experience, but I hope this article can inspire a shared sense of empathy. As you read, I encourage you to consider why expecting parents may choose not to share their pregnancy news and what purpose that may or may not serve them.

It’s time for the communal experience of loss to be given back to families, to be discussed among one another more openly. It’s in that experience that we may be surprised to find the space to be held and supported in our grief.

Perhaps simply acknowledging the idea that we don’t talk about loss will spark a much-need conversation about why we should and how to talk about miscarriage. Below are some considerations to take into account as one begins to navigate pregnancy, the idea of pregnancy, or grief in the time of loss. They’re considerations that may help you feel a little less alone during the unthinkable while creating more space for others who have experienced loss themselves.

How to Talk About Miscarriage In a Loving, Gentle Way

Gather your village: the first trimester is hard

The first trimester is often so much harder than expected. Romanticized images of women, glowing and smiling, holding their beautiful bellies are what we all envision as an early pregnancy ensues. However, the reality oftentimes looks more like a tired and grumpy woman, slightly bloated with her belly nuzzled in sweatpants. She probably has just enough energy to move from the bed to the couch while potentially getting into a hormonally-motivated fight with her partner. You get the point: it’s rough!

You might be surprised by how held you feel by letting a small number of your besties, family members, and perhaps the right boss or a few coworkers know you’re pregnant. Creating your own village of supporters to check on you and be gentle with you may lighten the emotional and physical burden of it all. In the event of a miscarriage or loss, you won’t be as isolated or alone with no one to talk to about what has happened and how to begin to move forward. You may find that the power of presence, a listening ear, or the story of someone who had a similar experience can be wonderfully supportive.

As you begin to navigate trying for a baby or early pregnancy, carefully consider who you want to invite into your village. And don’t feel guilty if it’s not your family. Remember: this time is about finding what will be supportive for you. I recommend choosing those you know will offer calm, supportive, non-judgmental love and show up when you need them. Finding the balance between guarding your energy and heart and reaching out for support when you need it is the goal.

Shed the shame & stigma: miscarriages are never someones “fault”

One of the most common and heartbreaking questions I hear from patients after a miscarriage is this: what did I do wrong? In reality, there is likely nothing anyone could have ever done to prevent miscarriage. A surprising 50% of first trimester losses occur due to chromosomal abnormalities. In other words, it’s a fact of life that not every single egg ovulated is genetically normal. As painful as it is, fortunately our bodies won’t continue a pregnancy that isn’t healthy.

Outside of the parts we can’t control, women should also know that not being “perfect” while trying for a baby also has little to do with miscarriage. A few drinks before the stick turns pink, not sleeping enough, experiencing big stressors, having sex, exercising, or eating certain foods all have nothing to do with whether or not a pregnancy “sticks.” Unfortunately though, this information and reassurance aren’t readily accessible or easy to find, and you’re lucky if your doctor offers you a follow-up appointment after a miscarriage to explain what happened.

We are failing women as much medically, as we are societally when it comes to loss and how to talk about miscarriage.

As women begin to face the world during and after a loss, they may find it challenging to find an individual experienced and willing to listen and validate their loss and the very normal emotions that come with it. Societally, miscarriage seems to be one of the last taboos. It’s often undiscussed or avoided altogether. This hush-hush attitude compounds women’s experiences of shame and guilt by 1) not having a full understanding of how common loss is and 2) by experiencing their emotions as something to feel shameful or embarrassed of.

If you’re struggling with a loss, advocating for yourself in a few different ways may help ease the pain:

1. Reach out to your women’s health provider and ask to schedule a miscarriage/loss follow-up appointment. In this space, you can ask any of the burning questions you may have about the experience and put your mind at ease about what’s happening in your body, when you can try again, or get on birth control. It’s also a good idea to get lab work done after a miscarriage to be sure there are no pregnancy hormones remaining in your body and your uterus can begin to reset.
2. Choose a few friends or family members to talk to about your experience with. Give yourself the time and space to process the loss you experienced. Know that grief is common in these moments. Processing your emotions and the reality of what has happened often makes it easier to move forward and carry less anxiety in future pregnancies.
3. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist for support. This can be deeply healing. Couples therapy and support may be helpful as well if you’re having a hard time verbalizing to your partner or getting on the same page about what you’re feeling. There are many therapists who specialize in perinatal loss and women’s health issues. Find someone who will validate what you’re going through. Psychology Today is a great resource if you’re looking to connect with a therapist.

Remember: Sharing Your Story Can Help Others

I can’t count the number of times a woman tells me that after she began talking about her loss, she realized that many other women in her life also experienced miscarriage. After or during a loss, sharing your story with even just a handful of friends is the first step to changing the conversation and helping others learn how to talk about miscarriage.

This isn’t for everyone, and of course, we’re all allowed to process and grieve differently. However, if you’re hiding your miscarriage but feel that talking about it would be helpful, there’s no better time to break the stigma. If you’ve experienced a loss in the past, consider reaching out to a friend you know may be experiencing something similar. The point is not to process your loss again while your friend grieves but to help them feel less alone.

If you’re not sure how to navigate these waters, simply making someone feel seen and heard in what they’re going through is a great place to start. Sharing tips you may have gathered during your own healing process could also be helpful or comforting. I also urge you to say something positive if you hear someone has shared their pregnancy earlier than expected. Consider congratulating them on their bravery and let them know that you’re there if they need support.

If You’ve Miscarried More Than Once

While it’s extremely common to lose one pregnancy and sometimes even two, having more than two miscarriages is known as recurrent pregnancy loss. It can be beneficial to schedule a doctor’s visit to be sure there isn’t an underlying disorder causing you to lose pregnancies. There are medications or interventions that may help you stay pregnant dependent on what condition you have.

If you’ve been trying for a baby for six months (if you’re over 35 years old) to a year (if you’re under 35 years old) and haven’t conceived a healthy pregnancy, you also qualify to seek out fertility assistance. We recommend speaking with your doctor to learn more about what medications and treatments may be right for you.

The post Why We Should Be Talking About Miscarriage—A Nurse-Midwife Explains How to Break the Silence appeared first on Camille Styles.

One thing every parent can agree on is that there just isn’t enough time in the day. From tending to the kids’ schoolwork and activities to making meals and keeping the house clean, it can feel like you either need an extra day of the week or another pair of arms to make it all happen. Luckily, parenting hacks exist for a reason.

Parenting hacks are all the rage these days—who doesn’t love a crafty idea on how to make life easier? There are plenty of parent hack lists out there and, let’s face it, some are better than others. As a mom of two who is always willing to give anything a shot, I’ve scoured these lists and narrowed them down to the best ones to help you get through the day.

When it comes to parenting hacks, I have a few tried and true options that fall within my internal list of requirements. First of all, it can’t have too many steps. Is it really a hack if it involves more than five minutes of prep work? Second, it can’t be expensive. Buying your way out of a parenting hurdle isn’t an option for everyone, so it’s not fair to list something unless its accessible for everyone. Last but not least, if the tip helps me relax, then I love it even more. 

So, after scouring the internet and rounding up some of my own household practices, I’ve put together my list of 21 parenting hacks that will save you time and stress. Some of these are funny while others are highly convenient. But here’s the truth: They will all blow your mind and change your life. 

Featured image by Belathée Photography.

21 Parenting Hacks That’ll Bring a Little More Easy to Every Day

1. Try this trick for easier airport travel. I get it—as a mom who’s made plenty of cross-country trips with my kids in tow, the airport (and plane, for that matter), can be one of the most challenging obstacles to navigate. But I swear by this car seat/stroller tip. It has saved me space and money and has truly changed how my family travels.

2. An easy way to keep your kids entertained. OK, this tip may be more of a social media engagement play than a true parent hack, but hey, if you have a swing set, a long rope, and a couch to relax on, give it a try! It’ll save your back, let you relax, and even get a little arm workout.

3. Cover your pack and play with a fitted sheet. Fitted sheets aren’t just the most frustrating part of making a bed. They can also be used to keep mosquitoes and bugs at bay! If you’re taking your pack and play outside, simply fasten the fitted sheet over top and you don’t have to worry about your little one getting bothered or bit by bugs.

4. …or take it to the beach! One of my favorite parent hacks is using a fitted sheet upside down at the beach. Put coolers or other heavier items in the four corners, and voila—you have a plan pen that will be sand-free.

5. Keep your bath toys mold-free. There’s nothing worse than throwing in the bath toys only to discover that your child’s favorite rubber ducky is a moldy mess. But don’t worry—there’s a simple solution. All you have to do is use a glue gun to fill up the tiny hole at the bottom. This has to be one of the easiest parenting hacks out there. Cover the hole with a small dot of glue and let it dry. Squeaky-clean bath time awaits!

6. Hair bow organization. I’ve used this tip to replace my old habit of throwing bows in a basket (don’t even get me started on the difficulty of sorting through the mess!). Instead, you can organize your kids’ hair bows by securing ribbons to a hanger and clipping on the bows. Easy-peasy.

7. Catch my drip? Nothing is worse than sticky hands that leave a mess, so I’m obsessed with this hack for catching drips from popsicles and other messy snacks.

8. Download apps for baby monitors. By simply downloading an app, you can turn your phone into an on-the-go baby monitor that’s perfect for travel. Cloud Baby Monitor and Baby Monitor 3G are my favorites.

9. Ball fishing. Tired of chasing the tee ball? It’s time to put those fishing rods cluttering your garage to good use.

10. Leftover balloons. Is your house filled with leftover balloons following a birthday party or celebration? This is the most genius hack I can think of that’ll make good use of the party favors. Hours of entertainment await.

11. Medicine in a juice box. Can’t get your kids to take their medicine? Add it into a juice box or a kid-friendly smoothie and they won’t even notice.

12. Tape on toys that make noise. Apply scotch tape over the speaker of your kid’s toys to save yourself a headache. 

13. Maximize under-the-bed storage. While I love stashing the kids’ toys and seasonal clothes away under the bed, many of these organization systems can be heavy and cumbersome. Instead, I make the most of the simple hack of adding wheels to a metal mesh basket so your kids can roll their toys out from under the bed without your help.

14. Backwards onesie. Put your child’s onesie on backward so they can’t strip naked whenever they please. (Speaking from experience, this hack will save you a lot headaches!)

15. Pizza cutter pancakes. If pancakes are a part of your weekend rotation, this hack is the perfect solution for creating bite-sized pieces that you won’t have to worry about your little one choking on.

16. Scissors for pizza. Avoid cheesy messes by using these non-scratch kitchen shears to divvy up the pizza slices

17. Toys in the dishwasher. Have your kids ever had an accident in the tub that gets all of their toys messy? I sure have, and let me tell you—cleaning them was a nightmare. Then my bestie shared a hack that would change my life: Just throw them in the dishwasher! This one seems so obvious, but when I learned about it, my mind was blown.

18. Swap out the shoe rack for toy storage. If you have somewhere else to store your shoes, this is the perfect way to get your kids to clean up their toys and enjoy the visual pleasure of seeing them put away (or maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part… ).

19. Target practice. It might sound silly, but totally works: Put cheerios in the toilet for target practice when potty training your son! 

20. Freeze your breastmilk. The best parent hack for preserving breast milk.

21. Make a bread sponge. When cleaning up broken glass, use a piece of bread to get any remaining stubborn bits off the floor. 

What are some of your favorite parent hacks? Sound off in the comments so I can add more to my ever-growing list! 

The post 21 Parenting Hacks That Make Life Easier appeared first on Camille Styles.

I will never forget how his eyes lit up. All year, I’d been asking my preschooler the same default question: “How was your day?” Only to be met with a quick, “Good!” before squirming out of my hug in search of Legos and snacks. But this particular day, I tried a different strategy. “Did you make anyone laugh today?” I asked. He stopped squirming, looked directly into my eyes, and said with such conviction, “YES!” before diving into a detailed story, complete with silly faces and all the things that make a 5-year-old giggle uncontrollably.

In that moment, I realized my son had plenty to tell me—I’d simply been asking the wrong questions. And so, I set off to become a collector of questions and conversation starters for families that actually get kids talking.

In truth, my revelation changed more than just the way I talk to my kids (see also: the ever-popular marriage meeting). “How was your day?” is such a broad, monotonous question that, hardly ever elicits meaningful conversation whether you’re five or fifty. It’s stories that drive us—stories that spark core memories and bring a certain color and richness to our lives. And stories begin by asking the right questions.

But it doesn’t stop there.

How do you have a good conversation with family?

Even with the best conversation starters in your toolbox, there are a few more things to consider when it comes to engaging kids (and parents, for that matter).

First, Consider timing

I used to host a regular “snack and share” around the table after school and that worked well—for a time. But as schedules change and my kids get older, they’re more interested in playing, eating, watching a TV show, and eating again than they are sitting down for a chat with an adult. These days, dinnertime works better for us. Every family will be different, but know that if your child is hungry or tired, no one will appreciate a forced family moment.

When your child opens a window for conversation, you never know how long it will stay open. Take the opportunity.

Second, look for the windows

Occasionally in parenting, there will be a window of opportunity to talk—really talk—to your kids. But here’s the kicker. This moment most often comes when you least expect it, or when you’re busy, or when you’re not paying attention. OR when you’re child is almost asleep and mentally, you’re already on the couch with a celebratory drink. The key is to immediately do the opposite: stop what you’re doing and pay attention. When your child opens a window for conversation, you never know how long it will stay open. Take the opportunity. This builds a bond of trust and connection—and shows your child you’re always available when they need you.

Finally, consider the setting

If your kids have a hard time opening up or getting into a conversational flow, change it up. Perhaps your dinner table is more chaotic than calm. In that case, it’s probably not the best place to introduce a new family ritual. If the right question is a seed, then your setting is the soil—it should be a place where conversation can grow.

Try throwing out a few conversation starters while you’re going for a walk or bike ride. Driving in a car is the perfect place to ask fun questions, especially when there’s a snack stash handy. When you get out in nature or go for a drive, it provides something else to focus on which tends to magically open the avenues for free-flowing dialogue.

Now that you have the tools, let’s dive into the questions.

Questions to Ask Kids After School

Try these questions when your kid gets settled in the car, when you get home (or after you wrap up homeschool), or even later at dinner. Mix ’em up or, if your child responds well to a particular question, make it part of your post-school ritual.

• Did you make anyone laugh today?
• Who made you laugh today?
• Who did you sit next to at lunch?
• What did you eat today?
• Did anyone get in trouble today?
• Who did you play with on the playground?
• Did you play any games at recess?
• What made you feel happy today?
• Did anything make you sad today?
• What is one thing you learned today?
• What did your teacher talk to you about today?
• What is your favorite thing about your teacher?
• Did you do anything that felt hard today?
• Was anyone kind to you today?
• Did you help anyone today?
• Did you try anything new today?
• If you were the teacher for the day, what would you do?

If the right question is a seed, then your setting is the soil—it should be a place where conversation can grow.

Family Dinner Questions

Use these dinner conversation starters as a jumping-off point. You can take turns answering a single question around the table or give everyone a new question. There’s no need to rush from one to the next—the goal is simply communication. Remember to practice active listening, stay curious, and have fun.

• Highs and lows: share one high and one low from the day.
• What are you excited about for tomorrow?
• What’s the best thing about your family?
• Pick one person at the table and give them a compliment.
• What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?
• What is your least favorite chore?
• What do you think makes for a happy family?
• What is your favorite meal we have as a family?
• If you could invite anyone over for dinner, who would it be?
• What is one new thing you learned today?
• What made you laugh or smile today?
• Tell one person at the table what you like about them.
• Share one thing you’re grateful for.
• What’s your favorite family tradition?
• Choose three words to describe yourself.
• Where would you like to go on a family vacation?
• If you could switch places with your parents for the day, what would you do?
• What’s the hardest thing about being your age?
• What’s the best thing about being your age?

Conversation Starters For Teens

We were all there once, so are teenagers such a mystery? When it comes to conversation, look for the windows and give them a gentle nudge when they crack open. Call out the good stuff, validate emotions, and help them navigate any problems or issues—but don’t do it for them. Simple, right?  

• What’s something good in your life right now?
• What’s something hard in your life right now?
• Who’s someone you look up to and why?
• What’s the last thing you Googled?
• How do you feel about social media?
• What’s something you wish adults understood about teenagers?
• What is something you would have told yourself five years ago?
• What do you like about school?
• What makes someone a good friend?
• Do you have any friends you’re worried about right now?
• What’s one thing you really like about yourself?
• What scares you most about the future?
• What excites you most about the future?
• What’s the best thing about being a teenager?
• What’s something you’re proud of?
• Has there ever been a question you wanted to ask me but haven’t?
• If you could relive one day of your life, what would it be?

Fun Conversation Starters for Families

Stuck in a car for a long time? These fun questions and would-you-rathers are road trip gold. My recommendation: drive as far as the first gas station, let everyone choose one snack, then kick off the trip with a question before pulling out the screens.

• What’s your favorite word?
• If you met a genie, what three things would you wish for?
• What’s a word that always makes you laugh?
• Tell me your favorite joke.
• Would you rather shave your head or have a mohawk?
• You just put on the sorting hat: which Hogwarts House are you in?
• Would you rather lose social media or TV?
• If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would it be?
• If you were a superhero, what would be your power?
• If I gave you $100, where would you spend it?
• If you could only eat one food every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• If you could pick your own name, what would it be?
• If you had a time machine, where (or when) would you go?
• If you could be a character from any book or movie, who would you be?
• If you could have any pet, what would you pick?
• Would you rather live in the mountains or on the beach?
• If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• Would you rather go on a cruise or a safari?
• If the sky rained food, what would you want it to be?
• If we all lived in a zoo, what animal would each person be?
• If you could make a new animal, what would it be?
• If there was a movie about you, what would it be called?
• Would you rather go to space or dive deep into the ocean?
• If you could make one of your toys come to life, which one would you pick?
• If you could live inside one TV show, what would it be?

Getting To Know You Questions

Finally, these questions are good to have in your pocket for any occasion. Try them when you’re FaceTime-ing with out-of-town relatives or on a Saturday morning donut run. There’s always something new to discover, even about your own child—and vice versa.

• If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
• What is your happiest memory?
• When was the last time you felt embarrassed?
• I wish I knew more about ______.
• Who is the nicest person you know?
• Describe your perfect day.
• What is your favorite book?
• When was the last time you changed your mind?
• Who is the funniest person you know?
• What makes you feel better when you’re scared?
• What are your favorite toys?
• What do you like about your favorite movie?
• When was the last time you felt embarrassed?
• Who is a famous person you admire?
• What helps you get out of a bad mood?
• Where is your favorite place to go?
• What do you do when you’re bored?
• What’s the best gift you ever received?
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• What is one thing you’re really good at?
• What’s your favorite dessert?
• What is your favorite thing to wear?
• What is something you’d like to learn to do?

Final Thoughts (And How to Get Started)

Hosting meaningful conversations with your family doesn’t need to be some big overhaul in your routine. My favorite way to start anything at all is to begin with a small seed of change. Small is sustainable. So, what does that look like? Choose one question on the way to school. Give yourself three minutes to connect. Pick one day of the week for a family walk and talk. After all, the thing about seeds? They tend to grow.

(PS: Listening, reflecting, and seven more ways to encourage confidence in your kids.)

The post I Tried These Conversation Starters With My Kids—And It Changed Everything appeared first on Camille Styles.

For many of us, childhood was a time in our lives filled with moments of nostalgia and joy. And many of those moments from our earlier years are ones that we dream of recreating for our own children. Of course, there are other moments we’d rather leave in the past. It’s in reflecting on these truths that I came to grow curious about and begin practicing the concept of gentle parenting.

What we remember from our childhood greatly impacts the way we parent. It’s safe to say that every generation of parenting is different, and some of the ones from the past might make you cringe today. New studies on how to raise your children come out daily and, to be honest, we are all just working with the best information we have at any given moment.

Featured image by Teal Thomsen.

One of my favorite parenting coaches, Destini Ann, has a quote that’s always guided my parenting practices: “If anyone is an expert on your family, it’s you.” And while I believe it, I have also felt extreme pressure to do a good job. Oftentimes, I find myself caught in the trap of thinking my children’s behavior is tied to my worth as a mother. Seriously—I die a little inside every time my child acts out in public.

Even though I know kids are kids, I still feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself when things go less than perfect.

I’ve learned through my personal parenting journey that half of the job is parenting myself, recognizing my triggers, and understanding what my values and boundaries are. I’ve also learned to show my kids empathy and respect within these boundaries. This is all part of the concept of gentle parenting.

To get a clearer, more comprehensive understanding of gentle parenting, I spoke with Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and the founder of Good Inside. Dr. Kennedy spoke to me about how the concept has informed her own parenting philosophy, Good Inside Parenting. She says that, “Good Inside Parenting assumes that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at the time.

“When kids struggle, we don’t see them as bad kids doing bad things, but rather as good kids having a hard time.”

“This shifts the mindset of how we intervene—from punishing behavior and to skill-building to change behavior. And let me be clear: there is nothing ‘soft’ about the Good Inside approach; we show parents how to be sturdy leaders, establish firm boundaries, and withstand a child’s protest and pushback.”

With that foundation to guide us, let’s dive deeper into gentle parenting—and how you can start practicing it yourself.

What is gentle parenting?

Gentle parenting is exactly what it sounds like: a kinder and gentler way to raise children. By definition, it means parenting without shame, blame, or punishment. It’s a partnership between parties, and according to Parents, both caregivers and children have a say in this collaborative style.

While there are plenty of ways to explain it, in my opinion, gentle parenting is about communicating with your kids and viewing them as unique individuals rather than extensions of yourself. 

How do I start practicing gentle parenting?

Now that we’ve defined gentle parenting, you might be wondering where to begin. The good news is that Dr. Becky says it’s never too late to start. “The right time to change is always right now. Change is most effective when we make it easy and manageable. There are simple steps parents can take that have a huge impact in their family home.”

7 Key Gentle Parenting Tips

1. Put empathy first. Remember your kids aren’t robots that can just follow orders. Put yourself in their shoes and the rest will follow. 
2. Set age-appropriate boundaries. What is your child capable of doing versus what you think they should be doing.
3. Add reasons to your boundaries. “Because I said so” is not good enough, anymore!
4. Be flexible. Balance out your rules and boundaries with leniency so your child doesn’t think everything is off limits.
5. Use your words. Raising your voice is often the go-to when punishing your children, however, gentle parenting recommends using better wording to get your point across.
6. Help them learn from their mistakes. If they err, make sure to teach them the right thing to do and reward them accordingly. Punish the action, not the child.
7. Connect with your kids. Try and let down the guard that says you are the adult and they are the inferior. Collaboration over compliance. 

How effective is gentle parenting?

Time to dive into the nitty gritty—does this technique work? After all, being soft with your kids could inevitably lead to excused bad behavior, right? Not exactly. Dr. Becky says there’s a misconception that “focusing on kids’ emotional life is ‘soft’—this couldn’t be more false.”

She continues, “we feel before we think and so a focus on feelings is all about helping people from where their troubles start. This focus is logical, practical, and effective.

“[Gentle Parenting] believes in boundaries, limits, and jobs—both for parents and kids. We teach parents how to embody their authority while showing their kids empathy and respect. You can be sturdy and warm, you can be kind and disciplined, you can set rules and empathize.”

As always, my opinions are my own and the way you choose to parent your children is entirely up to you! However, I hope that this article has helped you to see the value in gentle parenting, and even if you don’t fully make the change, perhaps you can incorporate some aspects of it into your day-to-day. 

The post “Collaboration Over Compliance”—An Expert Breaks Down This Empowering Approach to Parenting appeared first on Camille Styles.

One of the most powerful things we can glean from our children is how in-tune they are with their hunger cues. They’re intuitive eaters. And while their fussiness can certainly be frustrating, it’s our responsibility to model healthy behaviors—including staying calm when they refuse to eat what’s for dinner. Ultimately, when given the space to eat unconditionally, they can develop a healthy relationship with food.

But, what if your little ones refuse to eat their veggies? It can feel impossible to find that delicate balance between their autonomy and your rules. Rest assured, it’s possible. Today, I’m sharing how to get fussy eaters to eat vegetables. With a sprinkle of creativity, get ready to watch your child’s palate expand.

Feature image by Hannah Haston.

Everything in Moderation, Including Sugar

Kids’ packaged foods are at our beck-and-call. As someone who grew up on granola bars and fruit roll-ups, I know how deliciously addicting convenience food is. Unfortunately, research shows that children are consuming far more added sugar than past generations. In fact, the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, found that almost 85% of infants and toddlers were fed foods with added sugars or artificial sweeteners regularly (even, daily). 

As parents, it’s our responsibility to nourish our children with balanced, nutritious food. After all, we want them to live long and healthy lives. Does this mean they can’t have added sugar? Of course not! At the end of the day, we want them to establish a healthy relationship with food. In part, that means there are no hard and fast rules. All foods fit. Thus, it’s about finding a happy medium.

Setting the Example for Our Children

After working with clients for over six years, many adults have—or have had—a disordered relationship with food. And it’s not hard to see why. Our society puts thinness on a pedestal, equating a small body with health. This obsessiveness with food and body has led to universal struggles with guilt, fear, and anxiety around food. But, we can be better for our kids. We can do our best to limit diet culture messaging in our homes. In turn, we can foster an easygoing, relaxed attitude toward food. This will encourage our children to make food choices without agonizing over ingredients or calories.

What Nutrients Do Kids Need to Be Healthy?

There’s a delicate balance between offering our children nutrient-dense foods and giving them opportunities to eat anything and everything. But before we get into how to get fussy eaters to eat vegetables, it’s helpful to have a general understanding of what fuels their growing bodies.

Iron

Iron helps move oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. It’s essential! It’s best to turn to iron-rich, real food sources to help meet your toddler’s need for iron. Iron is available in two forms: Heme and non-heme. Heme is found in meat, seafood, and poultry. It’s more absorbable than non-heme iron (plant-based sources of iron, like lentils, beans, tomato puree, and quinoa).

Omega-3 (DHA)

As a whole, healthy fats are vital for infants, babies, and toddlers. They protect major organs, increase nutrient absorption, prevent constipation, and stabilize blood sugar. And of course, they keep toddlers full and satisfied. If your little one is vegan or mostly plant-based, my recommended plant-based source of DHA supplementation is marine algae.

Vitamin D3

Vitamin D is important for a toddler’s growing bones, immunity, and ore. Food sources of vitamin D for your toddler include cod liver oil, salmon, mackerel, herring, egg yolks, and beef liver. It’s best to supplement vitamin D, however, as food sources alone aren’t enough.

Choline

Choline is not a widely recognized nutrient, but it plays a crucial role in infant development! It supports brain development, enhances the memory, improves cognitive function, and more. Food sources of choline include eggs, liver, salmon, beef, beans, lentils, and plain yogurt.

Calcium

Like vitamin D, calcium is vital for building strong bones and teeth. For optimal absorption, pair foods with calcium with fat. Toddler-friendly foods with calcium include plain yogurt, canned sardines (mashed with avocado), kefir (add to a smoothie), salmon, chia seeds, tahini, and spinach.

Protein

Protein is essential for your toddler’s growth, maintenance, and more. Of all the nutrients toddlers need to be healthy, protein is key! It contains many nutrients that are needed for your child’s health. Protein can come from animal or plant-based sources.

See here and here for toddler meal ideas! If you currently have a baby, click here for baby nutrition.

Wondering How to Get Fussy Eaters to Eat Vegetables? Try These 10 Ideas

Whether you have a baby, toddler, or teen, it’s never too late to encourage healthier eating habits. That said, when your household has a picky eater—or three!—providing balanced, nutritious meals can feel impossible. If you’re tired of offering the same-old, same-old with little success, try these tricks for how to get fussy eaters to eat vegetables.

Lastly, if you’re not the only one who prepares food for your child, be sure to share these tips with your partner, caregiver, and grandparents! Consistency is key.

1. As Often as Possible, Eat Together

Easier said than done, I get it. Between schedules and activities, the stars don’t always align. However, whenever possible, eat together. This means no media distractions—like TV or cell phones—at mealtime. Strike up conversation! Use this time to model healthy eating. Serve one meal for the whole family and resist the urge to make another meal if your child refuses what you’ve served. This only encourages picky eating. Try to include at least one food your child likes with each meal and continue to provide a balanced meal, whether she or he eats it or not.

2. Don’t Pressure or Punish

If your toddler refuses a vegetable (or a meal, entirely), avoid fussing over it. As mentioned, it’s important for children to learn to listen to their bodies and use hunger as a guide. If they ate a big breakfast or lunch, for example, they may not be interested in eating much the rest of the day. It’s a parent’s responsibility to provide food, and it’s the child’s decision to eat it. Pressuring kids to eat—or punishing them if they don’t—can make them actively dislike foods they may otherwise like.

3. Try, Try Again

Just because a child refuses a vegetable once, don’t give up. Keep offering new foods and those your child didn’t like before. It can take as many as 10 or more times tasting a food before a toddler’s taste buds accept it. Keep in mind that having scheduled mealtimes (and limiting snacks) can help ensure your child is hungry when a new food is introduced—enticing them to try it.

4. Make Food Fun

Toddlers are especially open to trying foods arranged in eye-catching, creative ways. Make foods look irresistible by arranging them in fun, colorful shapes that toddlers can recognize. Children this age also tend to enjoy any food involving a dip! Finger foods are also usually a hit with toddlers. Cut solid foods into bite-size pieces they can easily eat themselves, making sure the pieces are small enough to avoid the risk of choking.

5. Add Veggies to Baked Goods

Sneak ’em in! As much as I encourage adding veggies to your child’s plate, I get it: it’s not always easy (or fun). And that’s where veggie-packed baked goods come in. This ties into another tip for how to get fussy eaters to eat vegetables: involve your kids in the baking process. Many toddlers and young children love being helpers. Oh, and don’t forget smoothies. They’re another vehicle for adding produce like leafy greens, celery, cucumber, and carrots.

6. Offer New Foods In Small Amounts

When it comes to helping your child explore new flavors and textures in food, start small. Try adding different herbs and spices to simple meals to make vegetables tastier (roasting veggies automatically cuts their bitterness, too!). To minimize waste, offer new foods in small amounts. Think: 1-2 bites. If it doesn’t go well, wait at least a week before reintroducing the same food. Rinse, repeat.

7. Involve Kids In The Planning and Shopping Process

Put your toddler’s growing curiosity to good use. At the grocery store, let your child pick which fruit and vegetable to make for dinner. Read kid-friendly cookbooks together and let your child pick out new recipes to try. Knowing that kids love exerting power and control, involving them in the planning process makes them feel like grown-ups. So, give them their choice of vegetables (choose 2-3) and see if that doesn’t empower them to choose.

8. Encourage Kitchen Helpers

Some cooking tasks are perfect for toddlers (with plenty of supervision, of course): sifting, stirring, counting ingredients, and putting veggies into a pasta salad. Have your kids put leafy greens into smoothie or toss Brussels sprouts with olive oil and sea salt for roasting. Even a DIY pizza night is a great way to load on the veggies. They’ll be much more willing to eat their creations! Research shows that children who are involved in the preparation of foods, such as vegetables, develop more positive attitudes toward—and preferences for—those foods.

9. Implement a Food Bridge

Once a food is accepted, use what’s known as a “food bridge” to introduce your child to similar colors, flavors, and textures. This will help expand their palates. If your child likes pumpkin pie, for example, try mashed sweet potatoes, then mashed carrots. If your kid eats avocado, try mashing green peas into it. If tortellini is a win, try ravioli (filled with spinach and cheese or butternut squash) in the same bowl as well. Seems simple, but it totally works.

10. Celebrate Veggie Wins

The less attention and pressure you put on your kids, the more likely they are to eat their vegetables. However, it’s important to celebrate small veggie wins! Rather than reward them with dessert, create a white board grid they can add magnets to. Once they fill the grid, they get extra play time outside, a new sticker book, etc. On a nightly basis, we want to try to avoid using dessert as a reward. I.e., If you eat your broccoli, you can have a cookie. This can interfere with your child’s natural ability to regulate hunger. It also encourages kids to reward themselves with treats every time they eat veggies. Everything in moderation.

5 Book Recommendations for Picky Eaters

A few for parents (and caregivers)—as well as a couple for kids! When kids read about picky eaters, they feel validated in their behaviors around food. Simultaneously, these books encourage fussy eaters to branch out and try new ingredients.

A Parent’s Guide to Intuitive Eating

This book breaks down intuitive eating in a way that’s easy to understand and even easier to implement. It explains how to help your children develop a positive relationship with food. Through the techniques and tips in this book, you’ll discover how to eliminate stress, anxiety, and food battles and instead enjoy feeding your confident eater!

---

SHOP NOW

Help! My Toddler Is Not Eating

As a dietitian and eating behavior specialist, Dr. Elizabeth Roberts has helped many parents who are overwhelmed with their picky toddler. She wants to share her solutions with you to achieve one goal: go from mealtime tantrums, food refusal, and cooking on demand to relaxed, enjoyable family meals, and watching your toddler try new food.

---

SHOP NOW

Raising A Healthy, Happy Eater

In Raising a Healthy, Happy Eater, the authors explain how to expand your family’s food horizons, avoid the picky eater trap, identify special feeding needs, and put joy back into mealtimes. Think: advice tailored to every stage from newborn through school-age, real-life stories of parents and kids they have helped, wisdom from cultures across the globe on how to feed kids, and more.

---

SHOP NOW

D.W. the Picky Eater

This is a great way to get started talking about healthy foods to younger kids. The reviews speak for themselves!

---

SHOP NOW

The Picky Eater

This colorful book makes picky eating humorous, giving families an opportunity to talk about being open to trying new foods. The illustrations are appealing. Overall, it’s a wonderful book to read.

---

SHOP NOW

This article is for informational purposes only. Nutrients toddlers need to be healthy will vary from child to child. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and we recommend that you always consult with your healthcare provider.

The post How To Help Your Child Build A Healthy Relationship With Food appeared first on Camille Styles.

If motherhood is aligned with your dreams and goals, you might be left wondering, is it too late to boost my fertility? Good news! It’s probably not—and the research proves it. Women are giving birth later. These stats are the tip of the iceberg: Between 1990 and 2019, the median age for first-time births rose from age 27 to 30. This is the highest age on record. Women are progressively choosing to conceive in their 30s and 40s. This is for a myriad of reasons—personal, professional, financial, and more.

Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s near and dear to my heart: natural ways to boost your fertility in your 30s. Getting pregnant in your 30s isn’t as dire as we’re lead to believe (far from it, actually). Knowledge is power. With these tips, you can learn to improve your fertility and increase your chances of conceiving.

Fertility and Age: What the Research Says

Yes, fertility begins to decline as we age. This is inevitable. However, it’s not nearly as dramatic as most think. When I first learned that fertility drops in our late 20s (and decreases faster at age 35), I essentially pictured a slim-to-none chance of conceiving after 38. This is not the case. Realistically, it’s more of a dip—not a nosedive—at 35.

A reassuring study found that women ages 30-34 have an 86% chance of getting pregnant within one year of trying, and a 94% chance of conceiving after two years. For women ages 35-39, there’s an 82% chance of conceiving after one year, and a 90% chance of conceiving after two years. Although these percentages are slightly lower than women ages 19-26, they’re still very hopeful.

How Lifestyle Impacts Fertility

No surprise here: Lifestyle has an impact on just about every part of health and wellbeing—including fertility. Luckily, there are a variety of lifestyle habits you can implement to protect your egg quality, reproductive organs, and hormone health. In turn, all of these things support optimal fertility!

Prioritizing quality sleep, balancing blood sugar, and incorporating moderate exercise have all been shown to increase fertility. Thanks to the power of a balanced, well-nourished lifestyle, you can slow your internal clock. In fact, it’s possible that reproductive health has less to do with chronological age and more to do with biological age. At any rate, now’s the time to incorporate natural ways to boost your fertility in your 30s.

8 Ways to Boost Your Fertility in Your 30s

Below are eight natural ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant in your 30s. I hope these tools give you direction, guidance, and hope. Whether you’re in your early, mid, or late 30s, it’s not too late to improve your chances of conceiving.

Be sure to consult with your primary care physician or health care provider before making changes to your diet and lifestyle.

Stop Stressing About Your Timeline

Your life, your timeline. Trust the unfolding. Stressing about your age, wallowing in should-haves, and berating yourself for not trying to get pregnant sooner will only hinder—not help—your chances of conceiving. This negative attitude will only leave you feeling guilty, frustrated, and emotionally drained.

There is no shame in living a life filled with memories, experiences, and learning opportunities. Looking at things from a different lens, that’s a fertile life.

Fertility is more than conception and reproduction. Fertility is about being full, creative, productive, and vibrant.

Work With Your Doctor

Before trying to conceive, talk to your provider. Let them know you’re planning to have a family. Together, review your menstrual cycle. Ask to have labs done to rule out conditions like hypothyroidism, amenorrhea, and polycystic ovarian syndrome. Blood tests can also rule out nutrient deficiencies (which can impair fertility). In essence, your doctor can help you take a proactive approach to getting your body ready. Set yourself up for success!

Replenish Nutrients Lost From Birth Control

Speaking of nutrient deficiencies, let’s talk about birth control. Unfortunately, there’s no denying that birth control pills deplete the body certain vitamins and minerals. Eating a variety of foods—as well as taking a multivitamin and/or prenatal—can help replace valuable nutrients. However, we want remember that supplements are here to supplement, not replace a nutrient-devoid diet. This is another reason why you want your nutrient levels checked before trying to conceive. You might need a higher dose of some vitamins and minerals, like B vitamins. Again, a blood panel will help with this.

Focus on Anti-Inflammatory Foods

When it comes to a nutrient-rich diet to boost your fertility in your 30s, think anti-inflammatory. Include plenty of antioxidant-rich and anti-inflammatory foods, drinks, herbs, and spices. This will help guard against one of the surmised declines in fertility: oxidative stress. This stress can have a negative effect on egg quality. Ultimately, we want to consume a variety of food that’s as close to the land (or sea) as possible. Whole, minimally-processed foods support female—and male—fertility.

Make Sure You’re Eating Enough

Three of the most important things in nutrition for fertility are eating enough, consuming a variety of high-quality ingredients, and keeping blood sugar balanced. Eating enough (which most women aren’t doing!) ensures your body has enough energy to fuel the very energy-intense process of developing a mature egg, ovulating, conceiving, and carrying a baby to term. Secondly, variety ensures your body is getting the vitamins and minerals it needs for optimal reproductive wellbeing.

Balance Your Blood Sugar

While eating enough is key, so is keeping your blood sugar balanced. Blood sugar stability decreases inflammation in the body, supports optimal sleep, and improves fertility. In fact, studies show that in women, elevated blood sugar levels and insulin resistance can complicate ovulation, making menstrual cycles less predictable. In turn, this can lead to fertility issues. Not sure where to begin? Check out our 7-day blood sugar meal plan!

More Sleep, Less Stress

We’re often so focused on food and fitness that we totally skip over two incredibly important roles in our fertility journeys: sleep and stress. Not only do both of these impact reproductive and overall wellness, but they also support nutrition and exercise. After all, it’s hard to eat well and be active when you’re tired and stressed out. Plus, stress and sleep quickly throw blood sugar out of whack. Here are some quick tips to support restorative rest and stress relief:

1. Do more of what makes you happy. Cliché, I know. But joy and pleasure are essential. Watch your favorite movie, buy yourself flowers, take a bath, get frisky with your partner, etc.
2. Get outside and disconnect from your digital life. Time in nature is rejuvenating and healing on so many levels.
3. Limit your screen time before bed. Easier said than done, but this article has helpful hacks. Journal or read a book instead. Do what works for you!
4. Find an acupuncturist near you. Most health insurance plans cover acupuncture!

Slow Your Internal Clock With Meditation

Research shows that meditation has the potential to reverse—or at the very least, stave off—age-related changes that can negatively affect fertility. Aim to practice yoga and/or meditate 2-3 times a week (or more, if time permits). And it doesn’t have to be an hour-long practice! Get started with whatever time you have—even five minutes a day can do wonders.

The post It’s Not Too Late! 8 Natural Ways to Boost Your Fertility In Your 30s appeared first on Camille Styles.

There’s so much that I want for my kids. I want them to experience good health, have empathetic hearts, to play and explore with independence, and to express kindness with every gesture and thought. And while this is true for all the caregivers out there, in addition to those values, a simple, yet complicated word comes to mind: confidence.

From my wise adult perch, kid confidence appears simple because I’m well-aware of the benefits. But on the other hand, confidence is complicated because I know how easily it can be lost. Even at this (mostly) grounded and secure point in my life, all it takes is one less-than-positive interaction with a friend or a work project I’m not feeling solid on (or really, any number of things) for my sure-footed foundation to tremble.

But in those moments when my confidence is tested, I have the emotional and pragmatic tools to keep me steady. Yes, even when I want to buckle at the knees. So the question comes: How do I best instill a keep-your-chin-up confidence in my children?

Feature image by Hannah Haston.

It’s a careful balance of taking my kids’ road bumps seriously—without taking them so seriously that I send them into an anxious tailspin. I want to fill them with thoughtful strategies and level-headed advice, encouraging them to play upon their strengths. There are parts of their relationships that they can control and parts that they can’t. I want them to understand the difference.

But as I’m extending the rope and (little by little) letting them practice independence, I still want to pack their lunches until they’re 30. And I want to include Post-It notes reminding them how unique and special they are.

And, perhaps most notably, I want to unplug the internet and hide our phones away. (Especially recently, deep breaths.)

But I can only do half those things. Acknowledging there’s only so much I can do as a parent, I got in touch with Austin-based licensed family therapist and board-certified art therapist, Carolyn Mehlomakulu for her gentle guidance and pro advice.

Keep reading for Carolyn’s wisdom and insights on how to support your children in building confidence, practicing authenticity, and little by little, learning to thrive.

What are signs of a child with a healthy sense of self-confidence?

When a child experiences healthy self-confidence, they may be able to:

• Recognize the things they are good at.
• Know that they have positive qualities.
• Be willing to try new things.
• Show determination during a challenging task.
• Be able to move on from mistakes or setbacks.

Children with healthy self-confidence also tend to have a growth mindset. They recognize that they are able to learn new things and improve through practice and hard work.

What are signs that they may be experiencing low self-confidence?

Signs of low self-confidence may include:

• Making negative comments about themselves.
• Being hesitant to try new things or expecting that they will fail.
• Giving up easily when something is challenging.
• Having trouble identifying any of their own strengths or positive qualities.

As opposed to a growth mindset, children with low self-confidence may have the opposite: a fixed mindset. This means that they believe their abilities are fixed or unchangeable so they struggle to recognize that they can improve at things. In relationships, low self-confidence can also lead to people-pleasing behavior or being overly influenced by what others think.

Why is it important for children to have healthy self-esteem?

Self-esteem is important for general wellbeing and mental health. If a child does not feel good about themselves, they will often have co-existing problems with depression, anxiety, or anger. Children with healthy self-esteem also tend to have better relationships with others (both as children and as they get older).

In relationships, children with poor self-esteem are more likely to either act as bullies to try to make themselves feel better or to lack assertiveness and put up with bad treatment from others. Self-esteem also plays an important role in learning and trying new things. A child with healthy self-esteem is more likely to engage in challenging activities and work hard.

How do children develop self-esteem?

Self-esteem begins with unconditional love and strong attachment in the parent-child relationship. It continues to develop through experiences that people have and feedback that they receive from others. When a child has an experience such as being able to successfully make something, complete an activity, or learn something new, they build their self-esteem and sense of capability. When children receive feedback from others about positive qualities that they have, this also helps to develop self-esteem and identity.

What are some ways parents can help boost a child’s self esteem?

1. Provide a foundation of unconditional love and positive regard. Children develop better self-esteem when they feel that they are loved and accepted by their parents or caregivers no matter what.
2. Praise should be specific and tied to examples. When you see your child doing well, reflect back specifically what you see and what it means. Vague, general statements like “good job” are not as impactful as something specific like, “you were being very kind when you shared your toys.”
3. Recognize both achievement and effort. Be sure to point out and praise when you see that your child is working hard, trying their best, or not giving up. Those growth mindset skills are essential to healthy self-esteem.
4. Reflect back to your child a variety of positive qualities that you see in them and share with them what you feel makes them unique. Look for opportunities to point out strengths like humor, creativity, kindness, determination, curiosity, etc.
5. Balance criticism or negative feedback with plenty of positive comments or interactions. Sometimes, parents get too focused on pointing out things that need to be worked on or giving corrections, which leads to children feeling that they are always messing things up. Some people suggest trying to give kids a ratio of five positive comments or interactions for every one piece of redirection or negative feedback that you need to give.
6. Model positive self-talk and acceptance in the ways that you talk about yourself. When parents engage in negative self-talk or make critical comments about themselves, this teaches their children to be self-critical. Instead, parents can model healthy self-esteem by talking about why their mistakes are OK. Instead of making negative comments about themselves, they can model encouraging self-talk and join in activities they may not be the best at.
7. Make the time to really listen. Whether your child is talking with you about a problem that they have, sharing about their favorite interest, or offering an opinion on something, stopping what you are doing to give them your full attention for a few minutes is a great way to let your child know that they worth your time. Doing so can validate their unique interests and lets them know that their thoughts and opinions are valuable.
8. Give your children lots of opportunities to try new things and give them encouragement when something is difficult. This allows your child to have experiences that will build healthy self-esteem and help them learn about themselves.
9. Help your child develop healthy friendships. Do what you can to gently cultivate positive, supportive friendships for your child by hosting playdates at your house with positive peers or getting your child involved in activities where they will meet peers who are like them or have similar interests. If you are concerned that your child has a friend who is hurting their self-esteem, talk to your child about your concerns, how they deserve to be treated, and ways that they can be assertive in standing up for themselves.

How can social media negatively impact a child’s self-confidence?

Social media seems to be most harmful (for both children and adults) when it leads to a pattern of comparing ourselves to others. The things that we post on social media often show a skewed, more positive version of our lives. We selectively announce accomplishments, show fun things we’re doing, use filters to enhance our appearance, etc.

When someone compares their normal life to someone’s idealized, filtered version, that negative comparison can often hurt self-esteem. Social media also seems hurtful to children’s self-esteem when it leads to problems like cyberbullying. Without social media, a child who experiences bullying at school is at least able to leave it behind when they go home for the day. But social media and technology can mean that the bullying continues even when outside of school, making it even more challenging to deal with. 

However, the impacts of social media and technology on children’s self-esteem are not all negative. Technology can have a positive impact of a child’s self-confidence when is allows them to be connected to positive friendships, pursue interests and learn new skills, and connect with communities that they relate to (especially if they are feeling different or left out at school).

What books would you recommend if caregivers want to learn more about support their child’s confidence?

Two great books I recommend are How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk and The Self-Esteem Trap.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

---

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, $11.99

SHOP NOW

The Self-Esteem Trap, by Polly Young-Eisendrath

---

The Self-Esteem Trap, $11.75

SHOP NOW

Are there any resources you’d recommend for kids if they’re feeling low?

I’d recommend books about growth mindset and the value of being yourself. These are great for encouraging kids and building self-esteem. You can find a few of my favorites below.

A Bad Case of Stripes, David Shannon

---

A Bad Case of Stripes, $6.99

SHOP NOW

The Magical Yet, by Angela DiTerlizzi

---

The Magical Yet, $13.69

SHOP NOW

How Full is Your Bucket? For Kids, by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer

---

How Full is Your Bucket? For Kids, $9.99

SHOP NOW

The Dot, by Peter H Reynolds

---

The Dot, $10.73

SHOP NOW

The Big Orange Splot, by Daniel Manus Pinkwater

---

The Big Orange Splot, $7.99

SHOP NOW

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do, by Ashley Spires

---

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do, $13.60

SHOP NOW

The post 9 Ways to Help Your Kids Build Confidence appeared first on Camille Styles.

In the final few months of pregnancy, life is a blur. Sleep is hard to come by, nesting is at an all-time high, and discomfort grows daily. Been there, experienced that. And while I’m grateful for an uncomplicated, beautiful pregnancy and a healthy baby, I was hardly prepared for the fourth trimester. Like other moms who birthed their babies in 2020, postpartum was rocked by the pandemic. The village we so desperately needed wasn’t within arm’s reach. Through my personal—yet universal—experience, I needed more support, nutrition advice, and mental counseling. And so, I took matters into my own hands. I became certified with a speciality in postpartum health. Armed with my credentials, I’m sharing 10 postpartum essentials. These are holistic tips, resources, and products to support recovery.

Feature image by Michelle Nash.

What People Don’t Tell You About Postpartum Depression

The postpartum time period is arguably the most coveted, tender, and emotional season in a woman’s life. Some women feel an immediate identity shift, and others feel lost, sad, and completely bewildered. There is no gold standard for how you should feel after giving birth. What is important, however, is that you acknowledge how you’re feeling. Seek the support you need. There is no shame or guilt for experiencing various postpartum conditions (baby blues, postpartum depression, etc.). Research shows there isn’t one specific reason that causes postpartum depression, but some women are more vulnerable to PPD than others. While well-meaning family and friends can help you manage daily activities, they’re not capable of providing the knowledge and care you need.

If you believe you’re experiencing PPD, speak with your healthcare provider. Receiving an appropriate diagnosis and treatment is necessary to improve symptoms and protect the well-being of yourself and your baby. Therapies and medications are available.

Traditional Postpartum Practices

For thousands of years, different cultures have deeply valued the importance of transitioning from prenatal to postpartum. It’s an ordinary yet extraordinary milestone. In doing so, these cultures have implemented—and honored—an extended period of healing and adjusting. Female relatives (and sometimes females from the community) nourish a new mother with ceremonial foods, tend to her needs, and relieve her of all responsibilities. Her only focus is to rest and recover, restore her vitality, replenish her reserves, and care for her newborn baby.

This time allows baby to transition slowly to life, earth-side. It also provides space for an expecting woman to become a mother, serving to create a solid foundation for motherhood. Respecting this was—and is—considered necessary for mother, baby, and all of society at large.

Postpartum Healing

If you’ve recently returned home from the hospital, I hope you’re taking the time to cherish the hard, tender, and beautiful early weeks as new mom. Lean on your loved ones and don’t hesitate to ask for help—particularly if you delivered via C-section. You just had major, major surgery. Not only is your body recovering from pregnancy, and possibly a long labor, but there’s also an incision through the tissues of your abdomen. There’s likely an emotional dimension to work through, too. Know that you’re not alone in this.

1. Rest, Rest, Rest

When it comes to postpartum essentials, rest is top priority. Once in recovery, you need a lot of rest. While this may seem impossible with a newborn baby, you need to prioritize healing your body. It takes about 6-8 weeks to recover from birth (possibly longer with a C-section), but each woman’s timeline will be different. During this time, it’s recommended that you avoid lifting anything heavier than your baby. Rather than an I-must-do-it-all mentality, don’t overexert yourself. You need to heal. Not prioritizing rest can quickly sabotage your recovery—as can a ‘bounce back‘ attitude.

2. Sitz Baths

Sitz baths encourage circulation, which can help reduce swelling and speed up healing after birth. They can help new mothers relax as well as soothe postpartum discomfort, from tearing and an episiotomy, to stitches, perineal bruising, bleeding, and hemorrhoids.

HOW TO USE A SITZ BATH

Steep herbs using approximately 2+ tablespoons per sitz bath (large batches can be made, heating the herbal mixture before each bath). Strain out the herbs before using the mixture. Soak in warm water for up to 20 minutes, 2-3 times a day. A dedicated sitz bath fits over the top of the toilet and can be purchased from a medical supply store or pharmacy. A bathtub can also be used. Fill the tub with three inches of water—just ensure the tub is very clean to reduce the risk of infection! 

HERBAL SITZ BATH 

These herbs are known for their healing properties and ability to soothe. Any combination can be used: Calendula, lavender, red raspberry leaf, yarrow, comfrey. Oatmeal can also be used to ease any itching experienced when recovering from stitches. (Psst… use code EDIE10 at checkout for 10% off my favorite all-natural bath soak!)

EPSOM SALT SITZ BATH 

As an alternative to herbs, Epsom salt can help reduce swelling and encourage healing. If using a sitz bath, add enough warm water so that you can soak the area without overflowing the basin. Add two cups of Epsom salt to the warm water. If you’re using a sitz bath, aim for a half cup. Lower your anal area into the bath and soak for 10-20 minutes.

3. Witch Hazel

Witch hazel is extremely soothing. It can reduce inflammation with its astringent properties. It’s an antiseptic and helps fight bacteria to reduce the risk of infection. It’s key for postpartum essentials. Witch hazel can also help stop minor bleeding and provide relief for hemorrhoids.

HOW TO USE WITCH HAZEL

Soak circular cotton pads in witch hazel or apply directly using a small spray bottle. Witch hazel can also be used in a peri bottle or padsicle (described below). A peri bottle is a must for vaginal births. It’s filled with warm water (and optionally, witch hazel) and is used to rinse after urinating, as using toilet paper can be very irritating in the early days—especially if there are stitches. It can also be used to cleanse and rinse wounds.

4. Padsicles

Padsicles are postpartum maturity pads that have been saturated with a healing solution. They’re well-known as postpartum essentials. They provide pain relief, reduce inflammation, and soothe swollen tissue. Padsicles can also ease discomfort from hemorrhoids.

COMPONENTS OF A POSTPARTUM PADSICLE

• Postpartum maxi pads (natural, chlorine-free, unscented)
• Witch hazel (alcohol-free)
• Aloe gel (free of artificial dyes and preservatives)
• Healing herbs, any of the herbs used in a sitz bath
• Lavender essential oil
• Spray bottle
• Large freezer baggie 

HOW TO MAKE A POSTPARTUM PADSICLE

Solution: Four parts witch hazel + one part aloe vera gel + a few drops of lavender essential oil. Open the pad without removing the protective wrapping that the pads come in. Use the spray bottle to spray a thin, even layer of solution on the pad. The pad should be saturated, but not soaked. 

If adding herbs: Steep the herbs in filtered hot water for 15-30 minutes. Strain the herbs out and let cool before pouring into a spray bottle, then spray an additional thin, even layer on the pads. Fold the pads back up tightly in their protective wrapping. Place them in a freezer bag (several pads can go in the same large bag) and store in the freezer. 

How to use: Change the padsicle every four hours, or as often as needed. It may need to be changed more often. Use up to four padsicles per day. 

If the padsicle is a bit too cold when taken out of the freezer, let it sit on the counter for a few minutes to soften a bit. 

5. Breastfeeding Pillow

If you have stitches (or if sitting causes perineal discomfort), a breastfeeding pillow is great. When using a breastfeeding pillow, be sure to use an absorbent bed pad. This will prevent staining if leaking occurs.

6. Warm, Soft, and Easily Digestible Ingredients

Deeply nourishing food is one of the most important postpartum essentials. Nutrient-dense foods promote healing after birth, necessary energy, support the production of breast milk, and help rebalance hormones. I have a lengthy article on postpartum nutrition, but here’s the gist: You want to focus on foods that are warm, soft, and easily digestible.

Most traditional cultures advise new mothers to eat slowly, put a heavy emphasis on nutrient-dense bone broths and healing herbs, and strictly prohibit cold foods. And don’t forget to keep taking your prenatal! Here’s a simple guide for putting together well-balanced meals:

• A source of protein—animal or plant-based
• Healthy fats—ghee, olive oil, coconut oil, avocado, nut butter, etc.
• Starchy carbs—berries, rice, squash, sweet potatoes, etc.
• Non-starchy carbs—greens, mushrooms, cabbage, tomatoes, etc.

7. Healing Foods

When it comes to postpartum essentials, don’t neglect healing foods.

Fermented foods: Aid digestion, nourish breast milk, and help rebuild microbiome for those who were administered antibiotics during labor.

Bone broth: Slow-simmered bone broth plays a key role in the postpartum practices of many traditional cultures. Not only is bone broth nutrient-dense and a rich source of collagen, it also aligns with the traditional practice of serving new mothers warm beverages and soups rather than cold food. My go-to bone broth is Kettle & Fire. It’s extremely nutrient-dense, high-quality, and tastes delicious.

Nut butter: It’s common for new mothers to experience highs and lows due to hormonal fluctuations and fatigue. Monounsaturated fats—the majority of fat found in nuts—help combat this by steadying blood sugar. A quick spoonful of nut butter can be a savior in the early postpartum days. I love Santa Cruz Organic peanut butter and Costco’s organic almond butter.

Sardines: Sardines are a rich source of many important nutrients that new mothers require, such as DHA, calcium, and vitamin D3. They are also available canned, which makes them a quick and easy addition to a meal.

Coconut: Nourishes breast milk and helps balance blood sugar.

Winter squash and root veggies: These comfort foods are easy to roast and they keep well in the fridge. Pair them with a healthy fat to help keep blood sugar stable and increase the absorption of nutrients like beta-carotene.

Chia seeds: High in fiber to aid digestion, protein to balance energy, and a good source of calcium, which is especially important for breastfeeding mothers. Chia seed pudding is fast to make for busy moms. 

Grass-fed liver: Rich in iron to replete losses from birth. Rich in vitamin A to support the immune system and promote repair of the mucous membranes in the vaginal canal or skin healing of an incision. 

8. Warming Spices

Take your postpartum healing the extra mile with warming spices. Turmeric is incredibly supportive for the early postpartum period. Known as a uterotonic, this herb gently stimulates the uterus, which helps it return to its pre-pregnancy size. Plus, it’s loaded with anti-inflammatory properties to aid in recovery after birth.

Ginger is another powerful spice. Organs shift during pregnancy to make room for baby, which can lead to digestive complications after birth as the body adjusts back. It’s also a lactogenic herb that supports milk supply. Last but not least, cinnamon and cardamom. These help warm the body. Ancient eastern and Ayurvedic wisdom place a particular emphasis on warming foods and spices in the postpartum period to increase circulation, improve digestion, and restore energy. 

9. Hydrate

No surprise here. First and foremost, proper hydration is necessary for breast milk production. Plus, drinking water can help you replenish the fluids that you lost during delivery. But it can also help relieve constipation. Aim to drink 8-10 cups of water per day. You can leave bottles and Mason jars filled with electrolyte water around the house. You can also sip on homemade fruit and vegetable smoothies (ideally consumed at room temperature).

10. Build Blood

Our bodies make almost a gallon of blood in pregnancy—a function of which is to provide a buffer against blood loss. But, in a cesarean birth, we tend to lose more blood than average, which means that our bodies have to build it back up. If someone was already borderline anemic, this blood loss could feel significant. We need adequate blood to make milk. Interestingly, low iron can be one of the reasons why there is a delay in milk coming in! When iron is low, we also generally feel unwell. Eat iron-rich foods (and try to limit iron-fortified foods, as the iron is synthetic and often difficult to digest). As far as supplements are concerned, this is my favorite iron supplement.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We recommend that you always consult your healthcare provider.

The post 10 Postpartum Essentials Every New Mom Needs In Her Life appeared first on Camille Styles.

There’s one thing I know to be true: people change. We each experience our own paths of self-discovery, and none of these journeys leave you as the same person you were before. Everything and I mean everything changed the moment I became a mother. Looking back now, my entry into motherhood was such a key period of transformation for me, just as it was for many moms. And when it came to my professional life, how to shift careers after becoming a mother was top of mind.

I have a lot of compassion for the woman I was before I had kids. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I defined myself by my career and successes, including how much money I was making and the community I was growing. My motivations were completely outside of myself and entirely rooted in what society expected of me. But when I look back on that version of Brandy, I have nothing but love for her because she was doing what she thought was best for herself while trying to make the most out of her life.

Isn’t that what life’s all about? Constantly evolving and learning to have patience for the path you took to get to where you are now? 

I remember my first year of motherhood like it was yesterday. Every day, I was fighting a battle deep within myself to maintain the person I was before I had children. And to be honest, I felt like I was losing. Deep down, I knew that nothing would ever be the same. The time I once had to focus strictly on my career was gone, and with that, so was my energy.

During my maternity leave, I was shocked by the lack of resources available for new mothers to manage the changes they were experiencing with their identities, work-life balance, and shifting family dynamics. I knew I wanted to do something about it, because I didn’t want other women to have to experience the same feelings I was having.

Feeling inspired, I decided to dive into the world of maternal wellness coaching. I loved this path for myself and found more passion with each client I had. But I still found myself holding the same expectations for success that I had for myself pre-baby. I wanted to be as busy as I could so that I had something to show for it.

Finding an Answer to the Question: How to Shift Careers?

But just as that success was growing, my world shifted again—I was pregnant with Norah just four months after having Liam. After 11 years as a stylist, one year as a coach, and a newly-expecting mom of a baby, I was burning out… fast. Around this time, I was writing about motherhood, coaching, and creating content. In fact, two days after giving birth to Norah, I had a full photoshoot scheduled. I remember waddling around in pain to clean the house, dress the kids, paint my face, and pretend like everything was fine.

When Norah turned 1, I couldn’t keep up the pace any longer. The impact of burnout had set in, and I no longer felt the same compulsion I once had to be busy. Any mental space I had leftover was being directed toward my clients when it really needed to go to my family. The work, though extremely rewarding, was taking up a ton of mental space that I didn’t have to give.

One night in bed, I was talking to my husband about our goals and what we wanted from our lives. That conversation changed my trajectory entirely. It had become clear that the career-obsessed person I once was no longer was here, and I wasn’t even grieving her anymore. My idea of success had changed with my kids, and I knew that my purpose was rooted in the desire to be present for them and my husband. This was the pivotal moment when I knew I finally needed an answer to the question that had been at the back of my mind: how to shift careers?

So, I did something I hadn’t even considered until that moment: I became my own client. Here’s how.

Step 1: Writing Out the Pros

The first thing I did was make a list of everything I wasn’t loving in my life. It was sobering to see it all written down on paper. When I gave myself the opportunity to be honest without judgment, my thoughts flowed effortlessly through the ink and onto the paper. 

Of Course, Then Come the Cons

Once I had that, I wrote a contrasting list of all the things I actually wanted out of my life. This exercise was clarifying for me and allowed me to honor myself in a fresh and totally authentic way. It was like I had Mari Kondo behind me, helping me sort out what was and wasn’t bringing me joy. And if it didn’t bring me joy? Then I wasn’t going to let it be a part of my life any longer.

Learning to Balance My Needs

Next, I evaluated my finances-to-time ratio. How could I still generate income for my family by putting less time in? It helped to write down how much money I wanted to make and worked backward. From there, I began with the things I enjoyed most and tried to figure out how I could maximize my income by doing those things.

Follow the Flexibility

I knew I still wanted to support mothers, but I had to do less client-facing work and look for opportunities that gave me more flexibility. I quickly realized that companies had more money to spend than individuals, so I focused my efforts on writing and content creation, making sure the brands I partnered with aligned with my values and messaging. 

Embrace the Person You’re Becoming

A truth I’ve come to learn is that my career doesn’t follow a linear path, and the time and attention I can give to my family will shift with the seasons. I know I may want to devote more time to my career, but for right now, I’m pursuing and seeking to maintain a semblance of work-life balance (aren’t we all?). Sure, I’m still a work in progress, but so is my career. I don’t find myself aching for the woman I once was. Instead, I’m fully committed to the woman I’m becoming.

I want to note that learning how to shift careers after having children is a privilege and a luxury that not all can afford, and I’m brimming with gratitude that I had the opportunity to do so. Through my period of self-discovery, I’ve been able to strike a balance between my career and my family, and I’ve formed a strong community out of it, too!

This isn’t always an option for every family, but you can still apply these steps to help you get clear on what you want for yourself. Plus, you’ll be able to take those baby steps toward your goal until you’re in the position to make that jump.

Remember: Working toward your goal will always be rewarding and what you want for yourself and your family will constantly change. After all, that’s what life’s beautiful dance is all about. Growth and change.

I have my kids to thank for this shift in priorities and for helping me come into greater alignment with myself. How did your priorities change after having children or in the process of getting older?

The post My 5-Step Process for Making a Major Career Move appeared first on Camille Styles.